This Time I'm Not Leaving Without You
by beatlebun
Summary: Kurt and Blaine live a nice life, with a sweet daughter and are about to adopt a second child when tragedy hits the family. They are not sure if and how they are going to make it through.  Future!fic, might contain graphic details of severly injured child
1. The Golden Floor

I'm folded in the bread you made  
>You're cold until my body bathes<br>You in the heat I kept aside  
>All these days<p>

_**-Snow Patrol – The Golden Floor-**_

* * *

><p>It's supposed to be a lazy Sunday.<p>

It starts out as a lazy Sunday, the typical Sunday where Kurt and Blaine wake up half an hour before Liza does, just so they can cuddle before she'll jump on the bed and squeezes herself in between them.

They're daughter is so predictable, if she isn't jumping on the bed 20 seconds after the clock turns to 7.00am, there is something wrong.

She'll jump for a good five minutes and then falls between them, forcing them apart and every Sunday morning Kurt will hope Blaine did not forget to put on underwear this time.

Because she has asked on more than one occasion why daddy sleeps naked sometimes and sometimes not.

Kurt can only imagine her face, if she'll ever realize it when she's older.

Today is such a day, Blaine nuzzles his face in Kurt's neck and Kurt immediately asks him.

"We went straight to sleep last night," Blaine answers lazily and Kurt smiles. Yes, they went straight to sleep, because they were so freaking tired.

He totally forgot they had an entire day at the zoo and a daughter that refused to go to sleep later.

"I love you," he says dully, because there's not really an occasion and he just wants to say it.

"Me too," Blaine says as he shuffles even closer to Kurt.

"Mm'goin' back to sleep", Blaine mutters but Kurt protests.

"No you're not, you're going to lay here with me and wake up. You're always cranky when you wake up and I don't want you cranky around our daughter."

"Why can't she just sleep in like normal people?" Blaine asks, "I need my sleep on a Sunday."

Kurt giggles softly.

"You get to sleep in every other Saturday, don't complain."

"I know."

"Besides, if we're lucky we won't have any full nights of sleep in a few weeks."

Kurt feels Blaine smile against his neck, before he presses a soft kiss to it.

"I really hope she'll choose us."

"Me too," Kurt says and then he softly pushed Blaine away to create some space in between them, as he hears little footsteps in the hallway and seconds later their thee year old daughter is jumping on their bed.

"Daddy, daddy I had a weird dream."

"Is that so?" Blaine asks as he opens his eyes and smiles wide. He always smiles wide when he sees Liza.

"Yep, I dreamed I had a baby brother," she says and Kurt has to bury his face in his pillow to stop from smiling and groaning at the very same time.

Because he knows how badly she wants a baby brother or sister and he knows how badly Blaine and he want a second child, but it's not easy and now that they have the slightest chance of being chosen, they can't tell Liza.

They can't tell her that 'maybe', because she'll get too overexcited and she won't understand when they will be turned down again.

_If._

If they were turned down again.

They try, really they try, to believe this time it will work out, since they were just so freaking lucky with Liza and hadn't been that lucky before. They just really want a sibling for their little girl and they don't want her to be older than four, because they want their kids to get along, to have someone to play with who _likes _the same things and who won't think what the other does is weird or childish.

They want this girl who is considering them right now to choose them, even if they know there's still another couple in the race.

They know how it works because they've been through it before, a year before they adopted Liza and they gave up.

They gave up until one day at their regular coffee shop one of the barista's had sat down with them and asked them how long they'd been together.

_._

* * *

><p>"<em>Seven years," Kurt said, looking at the young barista with a questioning look, gripping Blaine's hand just a little tighter.<em>

"_Good." She said._

"_Why is that good?" Blaine asked._

"_Do you want kids?" She asked as if it were a completely normal thing to ask._

"_We wanted," Blaine answered honestly and Kurt looked at him with wide eyes. Why, why would he lay their souls bare to this girl who couldn't be older than sixteen._

"_Would you want to adopt my baby?"_

_Kurt choked on nothing in particular as she looked at them hopefully._

"_It's just that I am really not in a place in my life where I can take care of a baby, but I want my baby to have it good and I see you guys in here every morning before you go to work or whatever and then you kiss outside on the sidewalk before walking off into different directions and you just both seem very sweet and caring and I heard you about kids somewhere last year and now I'm pregnant and I think you guys could take really good care of my baby so if you want the baby is all yours."_

_Kurt was still staring at her like he saw water burning, but Blaine removed his hand from Kurt's, to lay it on top of the barista's._

"_Take a deep breath and tell me your name, sweetie," he said calmly and she complied._

"_I mean it," she whispered, "and my name is Debbie."_

"_Well, Debbie, I'm really sorry to hear that your life took such an unpleasant turn while you are still in high school, but you are sort of springing this on us and we have to think about this. Is that alright with you?"_

"_Yes," she muttered, eyes cast down on the table and face beet red._

"_We will be back here after the weekend, are you working on Monday?"_

_She nodded._

"_Yes, I have to early morning shift before I go to school and then I'll be back from 4.30 'till closing time."_

"_We'll talk to you on Monday," Blaine said as he retracted his hand from hers and got up from the table, gesturing Kurt to do the same._

"_See you Monday," he muttered and had no idea how quick to get out of the coffee shop._

_._

* * *

><p>And so the weekend was spent thinking, Monday had come with a decision and now a three year old girl is jumping on their bed.<p>

Has been jumping on their bed for a good five minutes now, so she simply squeezes herself in between them, cuddles up against Blaine as she lays her tiny arm over Kurt's arm.

"I want a big bed like this," she sighs, a little out of breath and Blaine chuckles.

"One day you will have, but not for very long," he answers before he kisses the top of her head.

They lay in a comfortable silence for a while, but Kurt soon gets restless and suggests he makes breakfast.

Only for good measure, though, because he knows Liza will request an egg with breakfast and Blaine will merely smile at him knowingly.

"Can we watch cartoons, daddy?" she asks Blaine, who already has the remote at the ready.

Such a predictable little girl.

"Don't forget my egg papa!" she screams as Kurt scurries out of bedroom in his silk clad pajamas.

"Never," he sighs contently.

Their life really has gone better than they could have ever expected, growing up in Ohio.

Not even one nasty break up before they had their happily ever after.

Sure, there had been fights and make up sex, but they were mostly meaningless and solved within a week.

Sometimes they would fight for the sake of fighting, just because they needed it, needed to scream and be angry and they would laugh ten minutes into the heated exchange of words because they just couldn't swear, it was not them.

Some fights were real, and meaningful and life changing. Like the one they had over adopting or a surrogate. Almost, just almost they had given up hope, almost they had broken up when finally Kurt gave in.

Or not gave in, but changed his mind. Blaine was completely against a surrogate but Mercedes had been so willing and it was just the easy way out for Kurt.

.

* * *

><p>"<em>Don´t you remember Quinn, we could help girls like her instead of making our own baby and leaving that one girl who could use us alone."<em>

"_You weren't even here when Quinn was pregnant."_

"_I was there during her crazy year."_

.

* * *

><p>They did not see how to continue, maybe without children if they couldn't agree on the way to get them, but that was not really an option in either of their minds. If they were going to be together, they would be a family.<p>

So the next best thing was not being together, they thought but it was hard.

Kurt had almost come to the decision to end it, as had Blaine and then Kurt ran into Quinn, who was having a nice weekend outing in the city with her new boyfriend.

"_Imagine if I had kept Beth,"_ she had said, "_I would never have been able to be this young again."_

He had come home that night, shining brightly and shushing the nervous Blaine with a passionate kiss.

"Let's sign up for adoption," he whispered and with that one sentence the air had been cleared.

They had signed up, tried for two years, gave up and a year later Liza had come along.

And now another girl is considering them, a sibling for Liza, a second child for them. Their house is big enough, they earn enough money to support two children fully, it really is all perfect.

Kurt slowly begins to set the table, makes sure the washing machine is running and watches the news before he actually starts up on baking the bread.

He knows his husband and his daughter and he knows they will fall asleep watching cartoons in the bed, before they wake up again at ten. He has plenty time to bake the bread, cook the eggs and make a fruit salad for lunch to bring to the park.

They have a Sunday routine, like they have a routine for every day, so he is a bit startled when the phone rings at 9.30 and he hears Blaine scurrying out of bed.

"Kurt Hummel," Kurt says airily as he answers the phone to an unknown number.

"_Hello Mr.__ Hummel,"_ sounds a young and unsure voice, "_this is Jayleigh, the pregnant girl._"

Kurt's eyes go wide before he realizes she can't see that.

"I know who you are, Jayleigh, but I think all contact should be going through the adoption agency."

He hears Blaine stop dead in his tracks just a few steps away from him.

"_Well they gave me your number."_

"Okay. What are you calling for?"

"_I was wondering if maybe I could meet you."_

Her voice is still unsure, but she seems to gather some courage from the fact Kurt isn't harsh or anything.

"Of course, I'm sure we could set up a meeting."

"_I'm actually only in the city today and tomorrow morning."_

Kurt feels a set of arms slip around him, as Blaine rests his head on his shoulder and presses his ear against the other side of the phone.

"_I'm sorry to be so sudden, but I was visiting my gran and then I suddenly got this idea to meet you and I only thought of it this morning."_

Kurt turns his head slightly to look Blaine in the eyes, who shrugs behind him and has this look in his eyes that says 'we've had it weirder'. Which is true, a barista practically offering them her child.

"It's okay, Jayleigh, I'll text you our address. Do you think you can be here around 3, then you could see the house and meet our daughter. She sleeps from 1 to 2.30. Maybe you could take a walk in the park with us. That's what we do on Sunday afternoons."

"_Yes thank you that is fine."_

And then it's just the beep, she's hung up and apparently they are meeting her this afternoon at three.

"How do we explain this to Liza, though?" Blaine asks seriously.

.

* * *

><p>The house is always clean, they don't have to do any extra cleaning to impress Jayleigh and they tell Liza that a nice girl is going to spend the afternoon with them, nothing further because they don't want to get their hopes up.<p>

Like clockwork Jayleigh rings the bell at three and as she comes through the door, Kurt already sees her pregnant belly before she even takes off her coat.

They lead her to the living room and offer her a slice of cake Kurt whipped together in a heartbeat, which she eagerly takes.

"I've been eating like a cow in heat," she says and it's all Blaine can do not to burst out laughing.

"Why are you here?" Liza asks suddenly.

"To get to know your daddies."

"Why do you want to?" she asks in a whiny voice.

"Because I want to know if they are nice."

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Because if you want a brother they have to be nice."

Blaine's cup of coffee drops to the ground, Kurt stumbles and almost falls over the rug and Liza asks why they have to be nice if she wants a brother.

"Because I only give my baby away to nice people," Jayleigh says, utterly unaware of what has just happened around her.

"Why do you want to give away your baby?"

"Enough questions, Liza, why don't you go play with your doll house sweetie?" Kurt asks.

"But I want to know why papa," Liza whines.

Jayleigh's eyes grow wide, only now aware of how she messed up.

"Sorry," she mutters as Blaine comes back from the kitchen with supplies to clean the coffee stain from the rug.

"Go sit with papa, Liza, then we'll tell you."

Liza does so without complaint, climbing into Kurt's lap and looking up at him expectantly.

"No, daddy will explain," he says, giving Blaine a death glare.

Blaine sighs deeply and starts to explain.

"This girl has a baby in her belly," he says.

"Like Jimmy's mom?"

"Like Jimmy's mom. Only Jimmy's mom can take care of the baby, but Jayleigh can't. She is too young and she doesn't have a nice house or money like we do. So she wants to give the baby a good life. That is why she is looking at families who can give the baby a good life and maybe that is us. She is here to get to know you, and papa. Maybe she will choose us as a family for the baby, but maybe she will choose another family."

Liza's mouth resembles a small 'o'.

Then she turns to Jayleigh.

"I dreamed about a baby brother last night," she says before she slides off of Kurt's lap and walks into her room as if that's that.

Kurt smiles.

"That went well."

They spend a bit more at the house, show Jayleigh the room that will become the baby (boy)'s room, show her the bathroom and some baby pictures from Liza. They ask Jayleigh when she is due and take her to the park.

With every word that comes out of the young girls mouth it becomes clear that she, like Debbie was, is really just looking for a place where her child can grow up and have a healthy, life and be loved. They tell her about the 'every other Saturday' arrangement they have with Debbie and tell her that it is completely up to her if she would want to see her child or not, no pressure at all.

Jayleigh ends up having dinner with them and as they bid her farewell they have a really good feeling about this.

There is one other couple from Michigan, where Jayleigh herself is from, and she is supposed to meet them later this week.

"I'll call you when I know," she says but Kurt promises her that it's best to arrange further things legally and through the adoption agency.

"Call them when you've made your decision," he says, "we'll hear from them and we'll talk to you again if you choose us."

They really think she mutters 'when', but they don't want to get too hopeful.

Still, that night after they have put Liza to bed they dance slowly to nothing in particular, just the humming of their soft voices, melting into each other.

"I really hope this is our son." Blaine whispers in Kurt's ear as they lay down on the bed, close together.

"So do I," Kurt says.

"I do hope he won't be eating like a cow in heat, though," Blaine chuckles softly.

"I feel like we'll be raising Brittany S. Pierce's son," Kurt answers with an equal soft laugh.

"She turned out fine," Blaine breaths.

"So will Mason."

"Hmm. Yes. Mason."

.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sweet first chapter to set up the story :). Hope you guys like it! It will become more dramatic, I promise. Not all fluff, lots of angst!_

_You can follow me and ask me anything on Tumblr: beatlebun . tumblr . com :)_


	2. Shut Your Eyes

And when the worrying starts to hurt  
>And the world feels like graves of dirt<br>Just close your eyes until  
>You can imagine this place<br>Yeah our secret space at will

**-Snow Patrol – Shut Your Eyes-**

* * *

><p>A week must've never gone by so slowly for either of them before.<p>

Lately weeks have gone by really fast, if anything. They both love their jobs, Blaine working as a freelance piano teacher, traveling from house to house every week day, Kurt working as a part time costume designer for a popular off Broadway theater, occasionally auditioning, when he thinks a part suits him.

Twice he got the part and it didn't even mess up their schedule all that much, as Blaine was home at night to take care of Liza and they had full weekend days all to themselves, one Saturday with Liza and the other just together.

Yes, their lives were working out pretty well.

So well that a son would definitely fit into the picture at this point in time.

It's also all either of them can think about. What if she chooses us, what do we do, how does it work? Because things with Liza have been a little different from the start.

How do we get the baby in New York, as newborns aren't allowed to fly until they are eight weeks old?

They're not getting ahead of things, really they are not.

It's not like Kurt is already decorating the baby room and Blaine most certainly did not stop to look at little socks and hats when he passed a window on his way to a student this morning.

And also now, as the spoiled, talentless thirteen year old is slamming instead of playing the keys, he is most certainly not thinking about how his baby boy is going to be so amazing and probably much more musically talented than this girl with fathers like Kurt and him.

He's not thinking about that.

Neither is Kurt, as he readjusts a few sequins to a fifties style ball gown. He's not thinking about the probable hilarious situation that will come from Liza wanting to dress up her little brother.

He's not thinking about the way this color he is currently working with would be a lovely color for the curtains in Mason's room and he most certainly is not waiting for his phone to ring.

Really, he's not waiting for his phone to ring today so he takes it out of his bag and calls Blaine with no particular reason.

It's obvious that Blaine hasn't been thinking about things either as he answers.

"_Oh my god, did they call you did they pick us?" _he almost shouts and Kurt laughs.

"No, Blaine, they didn't call me."

"Jesus, don't scare me like that again."

Kurt laughs louder.

"Sorry," he says, "how's your day been?"

Blaine laughs now.

"_I've been teaching that girl who slams the keys again. Honestly, I'm surprised that piano hasn't collapsed yet. And when I told her she was playing forte and she had to play mezzo piano, she told me her parents couldn't afford that brand of piano."_

Kurt's loud laugh makes the heads of a few co-workers turn.

"I'm sorry you're stuck with such a student," he says amusedly.

"_It's okay,"_ Blaine answers, "_I'm on my way to an incredibly talented three year old so it's fine."_

"You have a three year old student?"

"_Yep, she's beautiful and very talented. Also extremely well dressed if I may add. Her name __is Liza."_

"Oh," Kurt says, "well, I heard her papa is coming home for lunch."

Blaine chuckles.

"_Is he now?"_

"Most definitely, and he expects there to be pancakes."

Blaine laughs outright.

"_I'll make sure to tell her daddy," _he says before he bids Kurt goodbye and hangs up the phone.

.

* * *

><p>When Blaine gets to the daycare Liza immediately jumps up and in his arms, not expecting her daddy to come pick her up on the middle of the day.<p>

She mostly expects her papa to do so and Blaine is happy that today he planned nothing for the afternoon.

It's Thursday, the day that Jayleigh is supposed to meet with the other potential couple and dear god, he just knows he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything this afternoon so he scheduled it free.

As did Kurt.

"Do you want pancakes for lunch, honey?" he asks their daughter who loudly squeals.

"I'm getting pancakes, I'm getting pancakes," she sings to the other children, who give her scandalous looks.

"She's been talking about a baby brother all morning," says the girl who's been working on her group today, "she says she might get a new brother if the other family is stupid."

Blaine laughs.

"She has a way to turn thing around, we told her that if this pregnant girl thinks we are the nicest family, she'll give her baby to us."

"I get it," the girl says, "well, when you know anything give us a call. We have a free spot and I'll be sure to keep it open in case. Brothers and sister take priority over new kids."

Blaine smiles.

"Thank you," he says and makes Liza wave goodbye to everyone before they leave.

"Do I really get pancakes daddy?" she asks as they start the three blocks walk towards their home.

"Well, papa wanted pancakes."

Liza smiles.

"Papa is the boss so we're getting pancakes."

Blaine lifts her and holds her close to his face.

"Oh papa is the boss now, huh, what about daddy?"

"You're only the boss when we're alone."

Blaine smiles.

"Why's that?" he asks.

"Because you always do what papa tells you."

Blaine laughs, it's true, he'd do anything Kurt tells him to. That's mostly because he never asks for anything insane, though, but he loves the way their daughter interprets it.

He loves the way she interprets everything.

_We get the baby if the other family is stupid._

Well, let's just hope the other family is stupid then.

.

* * *

><p>Kurt comes home about half an hour after Blaine and Liza have set foot in the house and promptly finds that apparently one can make <em>a lot <em>of mess in just half an hour.

He finds their daughter covered in flower, sitting at the dinner table coloring one thing or another, and his husband in the kitchen throwing away burnt pancakes, batter smeared all over his face, clothes and most of the kitchen.

He laughs, he's not irritated, he laughs.

"I love you so much," he says as he walks up to Blaine and gives him a swift kiss on the lips.

"Thank you," Blaine says a little agitated before he laughs out loud.

"Why did you ask me to make pancakes?"

"Because I thought you could handle it." Kurt answers and takes over the skillet and pours what's left of the batter in it.

"I think we have to share this one between the three of us," he says, "do you think you can handle setting the table?"

Blaine smiles, that he can do.

"I'm surprised you even got the batter together right," he laughs to Blaine, who quickly leaves the kitchen with three plates in hand.

Kurt hums contently as he walks into the dining room with the one pancake that did make it through on a plate, sets it down and sets himself down to start lunch as his phone rings.

As if they all know what this is about, Blaine stands up for no reason and Liza drops all the crayons she was putting away to the ground.

"Kurt Hummel," he says, voice ten pitches higher than usual.

"_Hello Mr. Hummel, this is Andy Cowell from the adoption agency."_

"Hello," Kurt says because there's not much more to say.

"_Mr. Hummel, we just got a call from Jayleigh, the girl who's been considering you for the adoption._"

"Yes, we know," Kurt says as Blaine walks up to him and once again presses his ear to the other side of the phone. Kurt would put it on speaker, but Liza is standing right there and looking at them with wide eyes, unlike he's ever seen any three year old hold their breath and patience.

"_Well, Jayleigh vi__si__ted __the other couple she was considering this morning and when she called us half an hour ago she said it didn´t take long for her to make the decision."_

The guy is quiet and Blaine lets out a soft whimper of impatience.

"_Jayleigh told us she would like it very much if you would be the parents of her baby.__"_

"Okay thank you," Kurt says baffled as he feels Blaine tighten his arms around his waist.

"_Congratulations, Mr. Hummel, you are going to be a father."_

"Thank you," Kurt says again, feeling like those are the only two words left in his system.

"_I get that you might need some time to process this all, but as you know Jayleigh is quite far along. She found out she was pregnant quite late into the pregnancy, so we need to speed the process along. Do I have it correct you have already adopted another child?"_

"Yes."

"_Okay, so then I take it you already know some of the procedure. Are you aware of the right the mother has of changing her mind until three weeks after birth?"_

"Yes, we are."

"_Are you aware of the rules and regulations of infants flying? If you are going to take this baby to New York right away, you need to find other transport than via plane."_

"We'll manage," he answers.

"_Okay, we will send you the papers you need to sign and leave you to it. You can decide to come early, Jayleigh says she doesn't mind if you are there with her at the hospital, you can also wait until he baby is born and book tickets then. Jayleigh is due in two and a half weeks, so I assume you will have to arrange things fairly quickly. For now I wish you a very nice day and again, congratulations."_

"Thank you," Kurt says again, before he bids Mr. Andy Cowell goodbye and lets his tears fall freely as Blaine develops him in the tightest hug they've had since they decided to adopt Liza.

Right, Liza, who is still standing there looking awestruck and much, much older than the three years old she is.

"Daddy, what's happening?" she asks quietly, "why is papa crying?"

"Because you're getting a baby brother," he answers, "you're getting a baby brother."

Blaine's voice is also shaking before a few tears fall down his cheeks.

"But that's good, why are you crying?" she asks again.

"Because we're happy, sweetie, sometimes grown-ups cry when they are really happy."

"Grownups are weird," she mutters before she starts running down the room and jumping up and down.

"I'm getting a baby brother, I'm getting a baby brother, I'm getting a baby brother."

"I just hope she won't turn into one of those jealous older siblings," Kurt whispers as he rests his head on Blaine's shoulder, his breathing slowly evening out.

"Of course she will be, and it will be hilarious," Blaine says, because he knows every first child gets to that stage at some point.

He's done his reading.

.

* * *

><p>Things go really quick from there, both of them wishing a few times that the baby will wait a couple of days, since they can't exactly be there on time.<p>

"It's a twelve hour drive, Kurt, we can't take her and have her sit in the car for twelve hours."

"We're not driving for twelve hours straight, there will be stops in between."

"So it will take even longer. We have to think of something else."

"How about a train?"

"We can take a train, but she'll get all impatient in the train as well. Also, we have no idea how long we are going to need to stay in Michigan, what if the baby is two weeks late? We can't just have her live in a hotel room for two weeks."

"Fine," Kurt grunts, throwing up his hands in the air in defeat, "we'll just leave her here unattended, how about that?"

"Kurt, come one," Blaine says as he settles himself next to Kurt on the couch and squeezes his knee, "I think it's best if you call your dad and Carole, ask if she can stay with them for as long as is needed. I'm sure she can handle the train from and to Ohio, your dad can pick her up on a train station in Ohio and we travel on to Michigan."

Kurt looks up and sighs.

"I don't know what I would do without you," he tells Blaine and lets himself crawl up to his husband, "I don't think anyone could ever understand how you're the only one who can knock some sense into me."

He grabs his phone from next to him and dials his dad's number.

.

* * *

><p>"I want a new crib, Blaine, this one is ancient."<p>

"It's three years old, it's just fine."

"It's so simple and white and boring."

"Then paint it, or paint the room, I don't care. We're not buying new things we don't need. This crib is fine, this dresser is in perfect shape, as is this closet. We're taking them out of the attic and are putting them in the room. You can decorate with curtains and paintings and stuff."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. So will we use this furniture instead of buying new stuff?"

"Yes."

"What convinced you?" Blaine laughs softly.

"You. You have no idea what you do to me Blaine. When you talk like that, it makes so much more sense than everything I tell myself."

.

* * *

><p>"We are not inviting the entire neighborhood to a welcome home party, Blaine, we don't even know when we'll be back and we don't know half of these people."<p>

"But it's a baby, it's new life, it's joy. We should celebrate."

"And we will. You and I, and Liza. Maybe Jimmy and his mom, Rachel will come by as will Mercedes and my dad and Carole will be here. Maybe Debbie will drop by. That's enough."

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Remember when you told me I can knock sense into you?"

"Yes."

"I guess it's vice versa."

.

* * *

><p>"Do you have everything packed?" Blaine asks as he holds a sleeping Liza to his chest.<p>

"I think I have," Kurt says in amazement, not being quite able to believe it.

"Did you pack everything for her?" he nudges his head towards their sleeping daughter.

"Well, let's get going then," Kurt announces.

'Let's get going' isn't easy, though, having to drag along three big suitcases, a lot of baby stuff and a three year old.

It takes them about forty five minutes to get to the airport, having decided to fly there and only take the train back.

They first fly to Columbus, Liza sleeps through the whole thing, and decide to stay in Lima until Jayleigh goes into labor, that's when Burt will rush them to the airport and they'll take the first flight available.

They don't feel like sitting around and waiting.

Not that they will do anything else at home with Burt and Carole, but it will still feel like they are doing something.

They've spent a total of fifteen minutes explain to Liza what's about to happen. Yes, you will have a baby brother in a few weeks, no that doesn't mean daddy and papa love you any less. Yes that means you will have to share your toys and no that doesn't mean the baby is going to get all the attention. Yes sometimes you will be allowed to feed the baby his bottle.

During the entire flight, Kurt and Blaine's hands never leave each other, Kurt's head rested lightly on Blaine's shoulder, Blaine's head resting on top of Kurt's.

It's pretty amazing how they're still as in love as they were eleven years ago.

.

* * *

><p>"So you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?"<p>

It's the first question everyone asks and Kurt sighs.

"We're not telling you, dad, you'll find out."

In the backseat of the car Liza starts to stir in the car seat, looking around dazedly.

"Hi grandpa," she says as she sees Burt, "did they tell you yet I'm getting a baby brother?"

"Ha!" Burt almost shouts and Kurt half jumps in his seat, "so, a boy, what will you name him?"

"Dad," Kurt says sternly.

"Mason," Liza says cheerily.

"If you want to keep things a secret from me, you shouldn't be telling your three year old daughter, kid."

"I'm not a kid anymore," Kurt protest, before turning to Blaine.

"How does she know it's going to be Mason?"

Blaine stares out of the window, pretending very hard not to have heard Kurt, so Kurt merely sighs.

"You married a push over, kid, I bet she kept asking till he told her."

"I'm not a kid," Kurt says again, feeling slightly agitated and extremely tired.

"You'll always be my kid," says Burt matter-of-factly.

.

* * *

><p>They arrive at the house around noon, where Carole has the table all set up for six.<p>

Ten minutes later Finn walks in, raising Liza high above him in greeting, earning a great set of giggles from the little girl.

"So there's going to be a baby brother or sister for you," he exclaims happily.

"It's a brother," Liza answers in a high pitched voice.

"Is he now?"

"Yep, Mason is a brother."

Finn laughs, Blaine coughs and Kurt grunts before he slams his head softly to the table.

He doesn't really know why it matters so much to him, but he would've liked it if it had been a secret, something that was only for Blaine and him.

Besides, if they change their minds once they see the baby, or if Jayleigh specifically wants them to name the baby something they can't really now, Liza would never understand.

Not that he thinks they'll change their minds, they've both wanted to name their son Mason for forever, but still. It has been their secret for the past eleven years, why not a few weeks longer?

"So why Mason, kid?" his dad asks as they sit down for dinner.

Kurt looks at Blaine, gives him the famous 'you caused this, fix this' death glare and Blaine takes a deep breath.

"It's just a name we like," he says.

"Nonsense, I know exactly why you named this little one Liza. It's because of Liza Minelli and because of your mom. I know you named her after Elizabeth."

"I know you know," Kurt says.

"So," Burt goes on, "why Mason?"

Kurt looks at Blaine again.

"It had a little brother. He died in a car crash when I was five. He was three."

Carole gives Blaine an apologetic look, before turning to Burt to give him a death glare that very much matches Kurt's.

"That's what you get for digging, Burt, just leave those kids alone."

"We're not kids!"

Kurt sighs, he knows exactly why he is so happy to have a life of his own in a completely different city. It's not that he doesn't like it here anymore, really, he does.

He loves coming home for the holidays and the occasional long weekend, but his father always has to dig into his life and Carole will always stick up for him when she doesn't need to, he is perfectly capable of dealing with his dad on his own.

He misses his dad terribly when he is in New York, but somehow the moment they see each other again he feels like that teenager that used to live under his father's roof, longing to get away from the silly town he grew up in.

Still, as the day passes things become more peaceful. Burt apparently knows enough, apologizes to Blaine and settles on the couch to watch TV.

Blaine tells Carole softly that it really is okay, that he doesn't mind talking about it. It's a long time ago and yes, it still hurts but he's used to it now. They shouldn't worry about something that happened to him over twenty years ago, they really shouldn't.

It's about three am, both Kurt and Blaine are wide awake the second the phone rings.

"Hello?" Blaine all but shouts into the device.

"_Hello Mr. Hummel, I think my water just broke."_

"Okay, did you call the hospital? Are you on your way?"

"_Yes, they told me to call you."_

"That's good, Jayleigh, we are on our way."

.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Yes, Jayleigh just called Blaine Mr. Hummel. __The next chapter baby Mason is making his entrance. I'm so looking forward to writing that!__  
>Don't forget to review and look me up on tumblr ;)!<em>


	3. Headlights in the Dark

Headlights before me  
>So beautiful so clear<br>Reach out and take it  
>Cause I'm so tired of all this fear<p>

-**Headlights in the Dark – Snow Patrol –**

* * *

><p>Kurt practically flies out of bed to wake his dad, who needs to drive the to the airport.<p>

Burt wakes pretty quickly, obviously expecting it and he's out of his bed sooner than he usually is, dressed within five minutes.

After Kurt's woken Burt he quietly wakes Liza and explains to her that daddy and papa need to go, and that Liza needs to stay with grandma and grandpa for a while.

They've explained it to her before, but he doesn't want her to wake up in the morning with her parents suddenly gone.

When he got back to his old bedroom he finds Blaine fully dressed and staring at his phone in disbelieve.

"What's going on?" he asks.

Blaine simply holds out the phone to him.

_Fire break out at the airport. All flights cancelled for at least three days._

"I wanted to check when the first flight was," Blaine says, "but this is the first page of the airport's website."

Kurt sits down on the bed and heaves a deep, deep breath.

"We have to get there," he says, "we have to get there, we have to get there."

He keeps repeating it, while Blaine keeps pacing the room.

"We will get there, we will get there, we will get there."

" 's up wi' you kiz?" Burt asks from the door opening, tooth brush in his mouth.

"There are no flights, all flights have been cancelled."

"Right."

Burt disappears again as Carole arrives in the doorway.

"We'll figure something out," she says as she takes both their hands and leads them downstairs to the kitchen.

They sit in silence, nobody looks up as Burt joins them and neither Kurt nor Blaine protests as Liza trots down the stairs and climbs in Carole's lap.

She is silent for a good fifteen minutes, as are all of them, but in the end it's the three year old who speaks up first.

"Are you back already?"

Blaine looks at her confused.

"You said you had to go get the baby and then I went to sleep and I woke up and you're here. Are you back and where's the baby?"

"We haven't left yet," Kurt answers, looking utterly broken.

"We have to get there dad, it's my baby."

"I know kid."

"It's my baby, we have to see our baby."

"I know."

It falls silent again, and Carole gets up to put Liza to bed. Both Kurt and Blaine kiss her again, promising the next time they see her, her baby brother will be with them.

"It will be a few nights, honey, grandma and grandpa will take you back home and we are going to be there with the baby."

She nods, before she lets Carole take her to bed without so much as a sound of protest.

"What if she wakes up in the morning and we haven't figured anything out?"

Kurt looks at Blaine, still broken. They _have _to figure something out to get to their son. To get to Mason.

They look up trains, but everything is fully booked now the airport is shut down, even if everything was fine half a day ago. Everyone needs other ways of transport now, and they are just too late. They also don't get priority because they hadn't booked anything yet.

"Take my car."

It's Burt who speaks up.

"Take my car, it's in perfect state and you're both great drivers. You can take the car, it's not that long of a drive to Ann Arbor from here. You can take the car, you'll have transport back to New York. I know you both are reasonable enough to not drive non-stop. Mason will be asleep most of the time anyway, you can drive the car back to New York, we'll take Liza to New York somehow and drive back. It's okay, you'll be fine with my car."

Kurt smiles sadly.

"You need your car here, dad."

"No I don't, we'll be fine with just Carole's car for now."

Carole chuckles.

"You always say my hunk of tin is no excuse for a car."

"It moves, we'll be fine for now."

.

* * *

><p>And so things were settled, they moved Liza's car seat to Carole's car, put both their suit cases and all the baby stuff in the backseat, set the GPS to guide them to the hospital in Ann Arbor and Kurt crept behind the wheel.<p>

"Make sure you take a few pit stops, no driving straight."

"Yes, dad."

"Better yet, change every two hours. So you'll stop in two hours and let Blaine drive, okay?"

"You already suggested that, dad."

"Okay. And bring my grandson back in one piece, will you."

Kurt laughs as his dad slaps his shoulder.

"You bring my daughter back in one piece, will you," Blaine jokes from the passenger seat, before Burt closes the door on Kurt's side and Kurt pulls out of the driveway.

It's right before the end of the street as Kurt starts to laugh.

"What?" Blaine asks.

"My dad told us to change drivers every two hours, it's only a two and a half hour drive to Ann Arbor."

"So?"

"So, I don't understand why we wanted to fly in the first place. I mean, would there have been flights at all in that distance? I think we would've lost a lot of time, driving to Columbus, flying to an airport there and driving all the way to Ann Arbor."

Blaine smiles.

"I think we didn't really think this through."

"We'll be fine now, though."

Because they will be fine, they are on their way to pick up _their son. _Kurt briefly thinks that maybe it's good idea to head back to his parents and drop off the car somewhere next week, but quickly realizes this is the best way. They will have the liberty to stay as long as they want to, they won't be bothering other passengers on the train with a crying baby and they can do it all on their own terms.

This will be so freaking perfect.

They mostly drive to Ann Arbor in silence, but do share the occasional glance of utter disbelieve, still somewhat astounded of their own stupidity and fixation on flights. This is so much better, just the two of them in a car, heading out to meet their son.

It's not until they drive into Ann Arbor and Blaine sees a sign for the hospital that he lets a tear escape from his eye.

.

* * *

><p>In the hospital things go fairly quickly. As they arrive at Jayleigh's bedside, four hours have passed since she's called them and they had expected to have some more time.<p>

With Debbie and Liza it took a total of 21 hours before they could hold their baby in their arms, but with Jayleigh things seem to be a lot quicker.

They each take a hand as a heavy contractions screws her up in pain.

"You had better take care of this baby," she purses through her lips, "cause this is hell."

"I'm sorry," Kurt says as Blaine takes a wet cloth and softly pats her hair with it.

"It's just now, you'll be able to hold your baby soon," he tells her.

"Not mine," she hisses, "yours."

"Jayleigh, it's your baby too. We've told you, you can see him as much as you want."

She smiles, though she looks extremely tired and actually very pissed off.

"I didn't choose you because of that. I chose you because you live far away and I don't have to be confronted with him."

Blaine wants to say something, but she starts screaming, obviously in pain from another contraction.

They're really not far apart now and Kurt seems to be in some sort of physical pain, too, as he watches Jayleigh.

"I'm going to get a doctor," he says, "you need to get an epidural."

Jayleigh shakes her head heavily.

"No needles coming near me."

"Yeah, you need to, you're in too much pain."

"No. Needles."

Blaine laughs.

"You learned not to mess with a woman in labor the last time around, Kurt," he says.

"Right," Kurt retorts as he strokes the fingers Debbie broke three years ago, when he wanted to leave her bedside to get her some water.

It's another five minutes when a doctor arrives in the room, examines a few things before she sits down.

"Okay, Jayleigh, with your next contraction I need you to push. Can you do that for me?"

Jayleigh nods.

It's another fifteen minutes later that Kurt is crying outright and Blaine's mouth is hanging wide open, as they finally see their son.

Mason starts crying immediately, the doctor hands him carefully to one of the assistants, who examines him and wraps him up tightly in a blanket.

"Do you want to see him, Jayleigh?"

She turns away.

"No."

"Jayleigh, please, you've just given birth to a beautiful baby boy," Blaine begs, "I think he wants to meet his mom before he sees his dads."

"Please take him away, I don't want to hear or see him."

The assistant looks at them confused.

"It's just, I'll take him," Blaine says and takes the baby from the assistant's hand.

His baby. His baby son, his beautiful, perfect little baby boy.

"Hi Mason," he coots, "hello little boy. I'm your daddy. Daddy Blaine."

He feels Kurt standing half behind him, half next to him.

"I'm your daddy and this is your papa. Papa Kurt and Daddy Blaine, we're going to take care of you from now on."

"He's perfect," Kurt whispers.

"Perfect," Blaine repeats.

"Please leave," Jayleigh's voice sounds through the room like a sharp knife.

They're not sure how to handle the girl, if she wants to see them at all anymore, since she doesn't want to see the baby, but after ten seconds of contemplating they both leave the room, attached at the hip, eyeing nothing but their perfect, beautiful son.

They sit down in the hallway for a while, just enjoying the sight of their perfect little baby, Kurt takes him over from Blaine after ten minutes when a doctor joins them.

"Do I have it correct you will be the parents of this baby?"

They nod.

"Okay, first of all congratulations. He seems to be a perfectly healthy child."

"Thank you," they say in unison.

"However," the doctor continues, "we would like for him to stay here overnight and during the day tomorrow. Jayleigh found out she was pregnant rather late. She kept drinking and smoking throughout the most of her pregnancy, so it could be he has some difficulties breathing and we want to do a fuller check-up than usual, cardiogram and all that. I expect him to be fine, or we would've noticed something already, but it's just to be sure."

"Of course," Blaine says, "of course."

The doctor smiles.

"As for Jayleigh, she seems to not want to see, hear or feel the baby. You are aware of the fact she still has a while to change her mind about the adoption?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Please be careful around her, she is in a rather emotional state right now and most of the time where the mother doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby is because she is having second thought. Now I am not a counselor and I do not know what would be best, but I advise you to be guarded around her."

"Thank you," Blaine says, reading the message the doctor is trying to send but not allowed to say.

As the doctor gets up, Kurt follows after him with Mason and Blaine returns to the room where he finds Jayleigh softly crying.

Her mom is at the foot of the bed, making a phone call, so he takes the seat next to her and strokes her hair softly.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

She sniffles.

"You were very brave, doing all of this without an epidural."

"I hate needles."

"That's okay."

Jayleigh opens her eyes and Blaine has to hold in a sigh. This girl looks so much older than the sixteen years she is in this moment.

"Could you please take him away as soon as possible? I know I still have three weeks but it's too hard. I have all these stupid feelings and my boobs hurt like crazy and I know that when I see him it will get worse."

"Jayleigh," he begins, but she interrupts him.

"No, as soon as the baby is allowed to leave the hospital you have to take him with you. Take him away from me and to your home. It's his home, he doesn't belong with me so he shouldn't be with me. "

Blaine nods, it makes sense.

"You know you can contact us anytime you want, okay?"

She nods.

"For now I want to sleep."

"Okay. We'll come and say goodbye before we leave."

"Thank you."

.

* * *

><p>The next day they wait patiently, yet anxiously for the test results, though they had nothing to fear. They are allowed to take home a beautiful, perfect, strong little baby.<p>

"Are you sure he'll be okay in the car for so long, doctor?" Kurt asks, "even if he is only a day old?"

"I trust you guys," he says, "he'll be asleep for most of it anyway. Just make sure he's not in the same position for too long. Take him out of the seat every two hours."

Kurt smiles.

"We will."

"And let him have a good night's rest, do you have a travel bed with you?"

"We'll find a hotel that has cribs to put in their rooms."

They stop by Jayleigh's room, Blaine going in first, telling her again that she is extremely brave for making this decision and kisses her cheek, thanking her for choosing them.

Kurt walks in, feeling a little awkward because everything is so different than with Debbie. With Debbie everything was so much more personal, more easy going. They had arranged everything and talked about everything with Debbie the months before, but with Jayleigh everything had happened in a time span of three weeks.

He thanks her for choosing them, tells her she did great and reassures her once more that she is always welcome in their house, that she can always ask how Mason is doing and he asks her if she has any special wishes at all for how they call him, or how they raise him.

She shakes her head.

"Just have him tested for allergies, we have lots of allergies running in the family.

.

* * *

><p>As they start their drive towards New York, Kurt behind the wheel, Blaine calls Burt and Carole.<p>

"It's perfect, healthy, lovely little boy," he says in he hears Kurt softly humming Wicked under his breath.

"_Congratulations kid, I'm happy. When will you be leaving to New York?"_

"Actually, we're already on our way."

"_Good, good. We'll leave as soon as we can. I think we'll only be a few hours behind you."_

"What about the airport? Isn't it still shut down?"

"_Yeah, Finn offered us his car to drive there, and then we'll take separate cars on the drive back."_

"Are you sure? That's on awful long drive to do alone."

"_We'll be fine,"_ Burt answers.

"Okay. Good. Just let me know when you leave, we'll keep in touch."

"_Okay. Drive safe guys."_

Blaine doesn't ask to speak to his daughter, he knows she's asleep at this time of the day, so he assures Burt they'll switch every two hours, and after he hangs up the phone he turns up the volume of the radio, humming along contently.

He has to remind Kurt about every 20 seconds not the check the rearview mirror if Mason is still asleep.

"When you drive, I'll watch him, when I drive you'll watch him."

Though when he is driving he notices it's not that easy to keep his eyes away from the rearview mirror.

Mason is the perfect child, waking up every time they themselves think it's time for a pit stop, they feed him bottles, drink coffee or tea for themselves, eat some sandwiches and are on the way again.

Until they Kurt is driving at 10pm, and Blaine searches for a respectable hotel with facilities for young families on his phone.

It's 11.30 when they finally get into a room, Mason still fast asleep, cradled against Kurt's chest as Blaine holds the door open for them.

It's a perfect room, with a separate room for Mason, including a perfect crib for their one day old son.

Mason seems to be content for a while, so they move across the room to the bathroom. Kurt turns on the hot water of the shower without contemplating Blaine. He knows this is what Blaine wants, what he wants. What they both want.

They take of their clothes without a rush at all and step under the hot water, moving close together and holding each other as if their lives depend on it.

"Our baby," Kurt smiles into Blaine's shoulder.

"Our baby."

.

* * *

><p>Of course Mason did not sleep through the night, no new born baby does. Still, he only wakes up two times and they already take turns in getting out of bed to feed and comfort their perfectly bundled up son.<p>

The moment they are on the road again, Mason falls asleep and it's like he _knows _when he can wake up and when it's better for him to sleep.

Both Kurt and Blaine are getting better at not checking the rearview mirror. Or at least, only checking it for the traffic behind them instead of checking on their son.

They arrive in New York late at night, right after Kurt received a text from Burt, telling them they checked in to a hotel for the night.

Liza had apparently been kind of fussy, not amused by the long drive and the having to sit still.

So they have another night alone with their new child, though it is not nearly as perfect as the night before.

They are home now. Home and they put Mason in his crib at home, which he seems awfully comfortable in.

He makes a few soft noises before he drifts off to sleep again, and it's almost perfect except Liza is missing.

They know they need Liza in this house to make it feel complete. It's a weird feeling, knowing that the two of them will never be the two of them anymore. It was already the three of them, but now it is the four of them.

Because even if they only knew about the chance they might get a new baby five weeks ago, he is here now and their family is complete.

The four of them. Kurt, Blaine, Liza and Mason. It just sounds right to both their ears.

Kurt makes a mental note he has to change the name tag at the front door, having to add Mason to the list.

Mason Hummel.

His perfect little boy.

.

* * *

><p>The following morning Carole and Burt have some trouble with Liza. She is obviously aware they are on their way home, so she is also aware she is about to meet her new brother.<p>

She is nervous, giddy, and all that is really, utterly not very useful during a long car ride. They don't have very long to go, probably a little over an hour, but the loud screaming and crying from the backseat still distract Carole from driving.

That's when she notices Liza is fumbling with her seatbelt.

"Honey, don't touch that, it needs to be where it is."

"Stupid." She says.

"Honey, I need you to be quiet and leave that seatbelt on, okay?"

"NO!"

She pushes and pulls until she notices the button and presses both her tiny hands on it, Carole and Burt both wonder how the tiny girl managed to do that as they hear the click.

"Burt, please, I can't stop anywhere here. There are no exits for a few miles."

Burt unbuttons his own seatbelt and it takes him a lot of trouble to turn around in his seat to be able to reach behind and take Liza's seatbelt.

"You have to leave this on, kid, it's for your safety."

Liza crosses her arm and sticks her tongue out to Burt, but lets him fumble with the seatbelt.

That's when Carole screams.

And Burt turns around.

A set of headlights comes towards them.

"AVOID IT." Burt yells, but it's too late.

And there were cars driving on either side of her anyway.

So they crash full force into the ghost-driver and everything goes black.

.

* * *

><p><em>AN: dun dun dunnnnn_

_Let me know what you think in a review or a message on tumblr :)_


	4. Ask Me How I Am

Has nobody asked you how you are?  
>You look like you might not last the day<br>I wouldn't have made it very far  
>So we'd make a good team right away<br>I've not made amends for yesterday  
>My lip won't get me out of it<br>Waking up dreading hearing tales  
>Of all my nightmares being true<br>- **Snow Patrol – Ask Me How I Am –**

**.**

* * *

><p>Kurt dances through the house, cleaning, vacuuming and making sure Liza's room is perfectly in order for her return.<p>

His dad has just called that they will be there in a little over an hour, complaining that Liza has barely slept all night and is exceptionally difficult to deal with now it's starting to sink in she's about to meet her little brother.

"_Lima – New York is a long drive for her, kid."_

But they didn't really have any choice with the airport shut down, so Kurt is simply glad she's not been too much of a brag, he knows how she hates to wear the seatbelt and the fact she can barely move in the car seat.

As he starts to prepare brunch for everyone, for his family. The family he shares with Blaine, for his _daughter _and his father and Carole, who almost feels like a mom to him.

_Almost._

Not completely, because unlike Finn with his dad, he remembers his mom and no one can ever, ever replace her.

Carole comes damn close, though, and he sometimes wonders how he would've survived the first year with Liza if she hadn't been just a phone call away.

As the table is set with five plates, he shortly peeks into Mason's room, but his son is still out cold, like he should be.

As is his husband, who's had a very long and restless night with Mason. The first night at home and Mason refused to sleep, or eat, or anything really.

They remember it from Liza. They remember the first week she was at home without Debbie and she had been all fussy and crying and they figured it was because she missed Debbie.

They hoped it would be different this time around, since Jayleigh refused to hold Mason after she gave birth, and so he never knew her smell, never felt her touch.

But he does know her voice, baby's recognize voices and Mason has never really heard their voice before. So maybe Mason has to get used to their voices.

Also, maybe because Jayleigh never touched him, he would adjust to the two of them quicker than Liza did. No matter what, even if he cries for 16 whole months, they will hold him and cradle him, shush him and sing to him. They will tell him it will be alright and kiss him before putting him down in his crib.

And he will be fine, he will adjust and he will have the best life they can possible give him.

Because he is their _son, _and that is all that matters.

_Your job is to be yourself, and my job is to love you no matter what._

It's that moment in his life that keeps repeating as he walks to the bedroom, to wake Blaine and feed him.

Because his father will be here in a little less than an hour now, and his daughter will be there, his son will wake up any minute now. He knows Blaine has had a tough night, staying up with Mason and refusing to let Kurt take over for even just a minute, but Kurt wants him awake. He wants him fully awake and happy so he is going to wake Blaine now with breakfast in bed. Not much breakfast, since they'll have brunch in about an hour, but two crackers with chocolate sprinkles must make him happy.

He walks into the bedroom with the tray with crackers and two cups of coffee when somehow that moment in his life becomes very vivid.

_Your job is to be yourself, and my job is to love you no matter what._

He feels a strange tug on his heart, like something is changing, yet he doesn't know what.

_We stick to that, we're going to be great._

The phone rings, he drops the tray and coffee is everywhere, not that any of it matters.

Because the phone rings and he _knows. _He just knows something terrible has happened.

Blaine looks at him with sleep dazed eyes, confused as Kurt stands there frozen and so he picks up the phone.

"h'lo", he mumbles, not really amused with the way he's been woken up.

"_Hello, is this Mr. Hummel?"_ It's a soft, gentle voice Blaine doesn't recognize.

"Who are you looking for?" Blaine asks, because both of them are Mr. Hummel now.

"_I'm looking for Mr. Kurt Hummel, Burt Hummel's son?"_

"This is his husband," Blaine answers shortly, because he is really freaked out by the way Kurt is still standing frozen at the foot of the bed, and he wants to end the story to ask Kurt what's wrong.

Because what if it's Mason, what if something's wrong with Mason?

"_Okay, does this mean that Ms. Liza Hummel is your daughter, sir?"_

Blaine freezes now, too, because why on earth would someone ask for Burt's son and then starts talking about his daughter.

_His _daughter.

"Yes, I am her father."

"_Sir, I'm really sorry to tell you this, but Burt and Liza have been in a car accident, I advise you to come to the hospital as soon as possible."_

Blaine stays on the phone a minute longer, asking which hospital they are taken to, though he doesn't even really processes anything, he just listens to what the girl says, writes it down while jumping out of bed and grabbing his clothes.

When he ends the call, Kurt is still standing at the foot of the bed, looking utterly terrified and all Blaine can think of is gathering Kurt in his arms and pressing sweet little kisses all over his face.

"It's my dad, isn't it?" Kurt asks after a few minutes of letting himself revel in the tight hold Blaine has of him, "My dad had another heart attack, didn't he?"

Blaine looks Kurt deep in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asks, "Blaine, you're scaring me, what's going on?"

Blaine takes a deep breathe, if only to postpone this moment and gather thought on how to go at this.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he says, "I'm sorry, it's your dad, yes, but it's also Liza and Carole. They had an accident."

Kurt closes his eyes, swallowing back tears, and Blaine can see how hard he's trying to hold himself up as he opens them again.

"Take a quick shower," he says, "take a quick shower and then we'll leave for the hospital."

.

* * *

><p>Kurt sits, waiting, staring at the clock on the wall just above the TV, imagining the worst case scenario's. He knows he shouldn't, he knows he should stay positive.<p>

It's probably just a broken leg, or a cut in her forehead, maybe a concussion. Still, he sees her lying there, he sees him lying there.

His daughter and his dad.

He knows practically nothing, knows they had an accident, but not what kind. He doesn't know if someone crashed into them, or if they crashed into someone and he can't imagine what it is.

Carole is a perfectly fine driver, so it's not from reckless or bad driving, he knows that much. They haven't been stupid and driving all day and night, they had _just _slept, so it's not like she was tired.

Whatever it is, he knows he wants to get to the hospital and he wants to get there now.

He wants to shout at Blaine for taking so long in the shower, but the clock tells him it's only been two minutes.

It feels like two hours.

So he just stairs at the clock on the wall above the TV, waiting for the right time to start yelling at Blaine.

When seven minutes and five hundred scenarios of doom have passed, he fills his lungs to start yelling, but never gets to it as Blaine steps in front of him, clad in only a towel.

"How about you go get our son out of bed?" he asks and that's when Kurt hears the baby cry.

He hadn't heard it before.

Blocked it out somehow.

"Sorry," is all he says, but he doesn't get up.

In the end it's Blaine who takes Mason out of his bed, puts him in Kurt's arms fully dressed and Kurt does accept him, holds him close to his chest, but he doesn't really feel it.

He doesn't feel what he felt the night before when he put Mason to bed, all he wants is for Blaine to hurry the hell up, so they can get to the hospital

So he spends another ten minutes staring at the clock, absentmindedly rocking his son and waiting for the appropriate time to start yelling at Blaine.

Not that Blaine gives him the chance, Blaine merely takes out the stroller, takes Mason over from Kurt and puts him down, he takes Kurt's coat from the hanger and helps him in it, and then he pushes the stroller out and they start walking the 12 blocks to the hospital.

It feels silly to just walk in this sort of situation, Kurt sort of wants to break out in a run, but he keeps telling himself there's nothing he can do. All he'll do there is be in the way, getting in the doctors' ways.

So they walk, Blaine pushes the stroller in front of them and Kurt blankly stares ahead, not once reacting to the noises of protest little Mason makes to the cold.

All he sees is the next corner they have to take, the next step he takes. Ever step is one step closer to his father.

One step closer to his daughter.

He wonders shortly if he should call Finn, since Carole is also in the hospital, but Blaine told him the doctor only asked about Burt and Liza.

He wonders if they only asked about them, because they're the only ones Kurt has a blood relation with.

Though he doesn't even have one with Liza. Not really.

He counts the steps he takes until they reach the hospital almost fifteen minutes after they left their apartment.

Kurt walks straight to the desk in the emergency room, passing several people in line, and asks where he can find Burt and Liza Hummel.

"You have to wait in line for your turn, sir, then I'll help you."

"Kurt, come back in line," Blaine urges, but Kurt refuses to listen.

"I need to know where they are," he says, "I need to know where my dad and daughter are."

The woman looks at him.

"You're family from the car accident with two grandparents and their grandchild?"

"Yes. Where are they?"

She sighs before she answers.

"I'm sorry, sir, but they are not in yet. They were pretty far away from here, but the woman who was in the car with them insisted on taking them here. They wouldn't have done it if it wasn't safe, but it will be a while before they will arrive."

Kurt feels Blaine arrive at this side, taking a firm grip on his shoulder with one hand, cradling a crying Mason to his chest with the other arm.

"You can take a seat over there," she points to a waiting area next to the desk, "I will inform you as soon as I know something else."

.

* * *

><p>"Male, 61, arrhythmia, head wound, abdominal trauma, unconscious for twenty minutes now."<p>

Kurt looks up as he sees three people wheeling someone in, joined by three more doctors before they disappear through a door that says 'ER staff only'.

"Female, 3, unconscious, major head trauma, no reflexes, severe blood loss."

Another three people wheel a stretcher, that is taken over by three other doctors as they, too, wheel through the door that Kurt can't go through.

And then Carole is walking towards them, clutching her arm to her chest, wincing painfully as she tries to hug Kurt with her other arm.

"What happened?" he asks.

"I have to go."

Both Kurt and Carole turn to Blaine, who is putting his coat back on, lies Mason down in the stroller, looking completely pale.

"Mason. He shouldn't be here, he should be at home," Blaine explains, "you just stay here and keep me posted."

He kisses Kurt, hugs Carole shortly and he is out the door.

Kurt stares after him for a minute, before he turns back to Carole.

"What happened?" He asks again.

Carole looks pale, green almost, tears are literally streaming down her face, she has a large cut on her head and looks at Kurt terrified, as if she is somehow to blame.

"Carole, please tell me," he says brokenly, "I promise you I don't blame you."

"You should," she whispers before she sinks to the ground in the middle of the waiting area and starts sobbing uncontrollably.

Kurt kneels next to her and without hesitation he gathers his stepmom in his arms, holding her head to his chest and rocking her back and forth.

It's silly, holding her the way he always holds Liza when she is upset, hushing her and telling her it's okay. He refrains from quietly singing some soothing melody that always seems to calm Liza down, but the rest he does do to Carole.

There's a nurse standing close by, obviously wanting to take Carole inside the emergency room for a full check-up and it's quite obvious she is in shock, but Kurt refuses to let her leave his arms before she's completely calmed down.

"It's okay," he whispers, "it's not your fault I promise."

He doesn't know what exactly has happened and technically it can still be Carole's fault but he knows she's not to blame, she never meant to do whatever she might have done, and she most certainly did not do it on purpose.

"It's okay," he says.

"I was looking in my rearview-mirror," she says, "I was checking and suddenly the car was coming straight at me."

"I looked back and suddenly the car was coming straight at me."

Carole looks up at Kurt, who kisses her forehead softly the way he sometimes kissed Blaine when Blaine's missing his parents, and tells her to go with the nurse.

"Your arm needs to be checked out," he whispers, "and you are obviously in shock, you need to sit down and rest, process it."

Carole doesn't need to be taken into a trauma room, so Kurt is allowed to stay with her. He holds her hand throughout everything, trying not to think about what's happening inside those trauma rooms he's not supposed to be in.

"Burt flew through the window," Carole suddenly says.

"What?"

"Burt, his seatbelt was unbuttoned, because he was trying to get Liza to wear hers, he flew out the window."

Kurt looks at Carole, not sure what he's feeling, what the strange boiling is that starts in his veins.

"Are you seeing neither my dad, nor my daughter were wearing seat belts when you crashed full speed into a ghost-driver?"

"Yes."

"Right."

He looks around frantically, no longer able to just _wait._

"Are you a doctor?" he asks the first person in a scrubs and a white coat that walks by.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me how Liza and Burt Hummel are doing? I'm their family, they were in a car crash and they've been brought in about forty five minutes ago, but no one has updated me so far."

"Can I ask you how you are family?"

"I'm his son and her father."

The doctor looks puzzled for a moment.

"Right, okay, give me a minute."

"Thank you," Kurt has the decency to say before he turns back to Carole, who's broken arm is being put into a cast that very second.

"They'll be okay," he tells himself more than her.

It takes the doctor a total of twenty minutes before she gets back to Kurt.

"They are taking your father up to surgery right now. He is mainly okay, he came around in the trauma room. There is some internal bleeding, he has a severe concussion and he has a big piece of glass that has pierced through his stomach, they need to take that out in the OK."

Kurt nods.

"What about my daughter?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hummel, but I can't tell you how she is doing just yet. That's what I need to talk to you about, actually. Your daughter got stuck between her seat and the front seat when the car crashed. She took a big blow to the head, probably against the side window. There is a piece of glass stuck in her forehead that needs to be taken out in surgery and she has some swelling on her brain, that also requires surgery."

"What are you waiting for?" he asks impatiently.

"Well, the doctors could not find you, and without permission of the parents, they are not allowed to take a three year old up to the OK."

"So you're telling me it's too late because no one bothered to try and find her dads where her grandma was being treated?"

"No sir, most certainly not, it's not too late yet if we get your permission now. "

"Well you have it, hurry up."

Kurt quickly signs a paper she holds out to him and she promises to keep him updated.

_._

* * *

><p><em><strong>New message<strong>__**  
>From: ICE Kurt Hummel<strong>__**  
><strong>__Dad and Liza are both in surgery. It sounds scary, could you please come back to the hospital? I need you here._

_._

* * *

><p>Blaine holds the crying Mason close to his chest, while he waits for the bottle to warm up.<p>

"Hush little Mason, don't say a word.  
>Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird."<p>

As Blaine feeds Mason the warm bottle of milk, he, like so many baby's do, falls asleep when it's only halfway finished.

When Blaine puts him down in his crib he looks so peaceful, so serene and angelic.

As if nothing is wrong, as if nothing ever will be wrong.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>New Message<strong>__**  
>From: ICE Blaine Hummel<strong>__**  
><strong>__Mason just fell asleep in his crib, I don't want to disturb him and I don't think a hospital is a good e__n__vironment for him right now. Stay strong, I love you!_

.

* * *

><p>After Carole's arm has been put in the cast and she had a complete check-up, they take their place in the waiting room.<p>

After forty seven minutes, Kurt's been counting them on the clock over the front desk, the doctor that had spoken to Kurt earlier comes out to update them.

"Mr. Hummel has been making it through the surgery quite well, they have just been able to successfully remove the glass that was stuck in his stomach and are now working on fixing the internal bleeding."

Carole sighs deep, clutching Kurt's hand desperately.

"I'm sorry, but I have no update about your daughter yet. There is a neurosurgeon working on the swelling in her brain and I'm not allowed in there to ask for an update, because this is very precise work and we do not want to disturb this surgery in any which way."

"Thank you," Kurt whispers, though he had hoped for some better news.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>New M<strong>__**essage**__**  
>From: ICE Kurt Hummel<strong>__**  
><strong>__Still in surgery, dad's okay, not sure about Liza. Can you try and come here? I miss you._

_._

* * *

><p>Mason's still sleeping as Blaine starts to clear out the suitcases. He needs to do something and they hadn't gotten around to it just yet.<p>

He's pretty sure Kurt will be extremely happy when he gets home and sees everything is in it's rightful place.

He's also pretty sure Kurt will refold and rehang all their clothes, because Blaine never seems to get it right, but he doesn't mind doing this.

For Kurt he doesn't mind doing anything.

So he clears out the suitcases, he vacuums and when Mason starts to cry again he walks into the room and places his pacifier back in his mouth, after which Mason falls back into a peaceful, perfect sleep.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>New Message<strong>__**  
>From: ICE Blaine Hummel<strong>__**  
><strong>__Mason is so peaceful in his crib, I really don't want to disturb him. I've cleaned the house and cleared out the luggage. Need me to do anything else around here?_

.

* * *

><p>"Your father came out of surgery okay. He is currently in recovery, but he should be out and onto the ward soon."<p>

"And Liza?"

"Liza is doing very brave in surgery. They have the piece of glass out and the doctor is now drilling a hole in her scull to subdue the pressure on her brain and hopefully it will make the swelling go down. Another general surgeon has operated on her stomach, because there was some unforeseen internal bleeding that came to the surface when she was put under anesthesia."

"What does it mean, though? What does it mean when you say my daughter's brain is swollen. Will she wake up, will she survive? Will she have brain damage? What does it mean, doctor?"

"Honestly, Mr. Hummel, we can't say anything at this point. We have to just be hopeful she'll come out of it okay."

"Hopeful?"

"That's all we can do."

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>New Message<strong>__**  
>From: ICE Kurt Hummel<strong>__  
><em>_Liza might die, figure something out and come here. Your daughter needs you._

_._

Blaine reads the text and almost smashes his phone to the wall, but he refrains.

Instead he clutches it to his chest and cries loudly, broken and alone.

Because Mason, not his son but his little brother.

He was Liza's age.

He was three.

He was in a car crash.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>New Message<strong>__**  
>From: ICE Kurt Hummel<strong>__  
><em>_And so do I._

_._

* * *

><p><em>AN: _

_First of all, happy new year everyone!__  
>Second, I'm so sorry for the long delay. My life's pretty much been turned upside down in the past few months and I thought I had sorted it out when I started this fic but apparently not. Please stick with me, it will be more frequent from now on.<em>_  
>Third, don't be shy, I only bite when you want me to, let me know what you think!<em>


	5. One Night is Not Enough

You woke up cold this morning  
>Shied away from my touch<br>I would never mean to hurt you  
>Because I love you so much<p>

**-Snow Patrol- One Night is Not Enough-**

* * *

><p>"So she's in a coma?"<p>

"Yes sir," the surgeon tells Kurt, "she is currently in a medically induced coma. This means we are keeping her asleep, so her body will have time to heal."

"Right. Okay. For how long?"

"Only time will tell, I'm afraid. If the test come back positive, we can rethink our decision, but until then we keep her asleep. It will at least be three days, as for now."

"And if her tests come back negative?"

"If they do, we keep her asleep."

"What if they do come back positive, and you can take her off this sleeping stuff?"

"There is no telling in if she will wake up. At this moment the swelling in her brain is too big for her to function properly. She cannot breathe on her own. Her stomach was severely bruised, so she can't eat solid food for a while. Until these things get better she will sleep. She does have brain injury, and with these sorts of injuries there is just no telling in how badly they have affected the patient until they wake up."

Kurt sighed.

"So you're telling me you're not sure if my daughter will ever wake up, and if she does wake up, there can still be damage?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, yes."

Kurt nods, because there is nothing else to do. He knows the doctors did their utmost to save his daughter, he knows that, so blaming them and yelling at them is the last thing he wants to do.

Or actually, it's the only thing he wants to do, but tells himself not to.

Instead he walks away, without saying anything else to the doctor and takes out his cell, dialing Blaine's number by hard.

"_She's dead, isn't she?"_

"What? No, Blaine, she's not dead."

Kurt hears a sigh of relief on the other side of the phone.

"_God, Kurt, you have no idea how worried I was."_

"She's not safe either."

It's a snap, it's a dirty snap to put Blaine in his place.

"How the fuck could you leave me like that, huh? How could you fucking take your healthy little baby and walk away from _me?"_

"_Kurt, I…"_

"Don't 'Kurt I' me. There's no apology for this. You take your fucking coat and come over here straight away. Your daughter is in a fucking coma and she fucking needs both her fucking dads, okay?"

"_Kurt? You never curse."_

"Well I'm cursing now. You get your ass over here right this second."

"_K__urt?"_

"What?"

"_Did you really just say a coma?"_

Blaine's voice is so small it nearly breaks Kurt's heart, but not quite. He's still too mad at Blaine to have it actually break for him.

"Yes, Blaine. She had brain injury and she now is in a medically induced coma to keep the brain from swelling more and give it time to reduce the swelling all together."

He knows Blaine's nodding on the other side, so he lets the line be silent for a minute.

"_I'm sorry, Kurt, but I can't see her right now. She reminds me of my little brother and I'm too afraid she'll die."_

"Well, you should say goodbye."

"_I can't leave the baby alone. He's only a few days old and he's head a big car trip to get over. Most newborns don't spend their first few days in a car, you know?"_

"I know."

"_So you agree? I'll stay here and take care of Mason and you'll stay there and be everything you can for Liza."_

"We agree."

"_Thank you."_

"I love you."

"_Can I expect you home tonight or will you be sleeping at the hospital?"_

"I think I'm coming home, she will not wake up and Carole is here with my dad so he'll be fine."

"_Okay, I won't wait, but I hope to see you tonight."_

"I love you, Blaine."

"_I love you, be strong for her okay?"_

"Okay."

.

* * *

><p>"Can I kiss her, or hold her?"<p>

"Sorry, sir," the nurse says, "she has to lie very still. You can hold her hand and kiss her hand, but only if you move your head towards it. Do not lift her arm."

Kurt nods before he does so and when he looks up he gets that creepy feeling all over again, when he first walked into the room a chill rushed down his spine.

His little girl is all covered in tubes and beeps are all around her, even more tubes and beeps than when his father was in the hospital junior year of high school.

It's not fair that Liza is here in the hospital, his perfect little girl should not be in the hospital, she should have been running into the house hours ago, jumping and forcing Blaine or him to take her to her little brother.

Her little brother who is exhausted and at home and who Kurt has no desire to see at all. He feels like he _should _be torn, he _should _be wanting to be at both places, but he doesn't want to be there. He only wants to be here, exactly here, holding his daughter's hand.

Holding his daughter's hand and letting his own tears stream freely.

"You're going to be okay," he whispers, "you'll be just fine."

He even tries to believe it.

.

* * *

><p>"Please, just take it. Please drink."<p>

Blaine sits in the old-fashioned rocking-chair in the corner of the room, across from the dresser and next to the crib.

Mason is wrapped up in warm blankets, Blaine's praying for his son's mouth to take hold of the bottle, but he obviously doesn't want to.

Blaine rocks back and forth in the chair, humming softly and tries to put the bottle to Mason's lips, but he refuses to drink it.

Instead he holds Blaine's thumb way too strongly for a newborn and Blaine lets a tear fall from his eyes.

He wonders if he's doing to right thing, staying here with Mason. It's not like he doesn't agree with himself, he's just not sure if he is trying the best he can to be the best for both his children.

Liza is in a hospital bed right now, and from what he's heard from Kurt she is probably covered in tubes and full of pain medication and yet he is here, rocking a baby back and forth, begging the baby to eat.

It's really hard to leave the house right now, he doesn't want to leave Mason in the care of someone else, not in his first few days.

Not in his first few weeks, actually. He wants Mason to get used to him, he wants Mason to get used to Kurt and the house, to his room and to everything that belongs in this house.

Liza belongs in this house.

However, he reasons, Mason is probably exhausted from the car ride. Most newborns spend their first 24 hours on earth in the presence of their mom, attached to their mothers chest like a lifeline.

Skin to skin, close to her beating heart.

Mason is three days old now and he hasn't even touched his mom, hasn't even properly heard her voice and even if Blaine knows he'll have a better life with him and Kurt, he also knows it's probably very traumatic for a little baby to not hear his moms voice anymore.

To be immediately taken away and examined, before being wrapped up in overly warm blankets and put in a car seat to drive all the way to New York.

And that's when he realizes all the skin on skin contact Mason has had so far is the touches of Blaine's finger to his pink cheek, the careful touches that go with getting a baby dressed and undressed.

In three days that's all the skin Mason has felt and that is not alright.

Blaine had found it a bit weird at first, but when they were going to adopt Liza they did their research. Skin on skin contact is very important for babies, he remembers, it's very important because they bond like that. They learn to know your smell, your voice, the way you feel.

So Blaine rids himself of his shirt, takes off Masons hat and holds his tiny head close to his chest, continuing to rock back and forth in the chair.

And again he wonders if he's doing good, he wonders how Jayleigh is. He knows how emotional Debbie had been in the weeks just after Liza was born. She had been a mess, constantly wanting and not wanting Liza near her. It was completely normal, seeing how hormones rushed through her body.

But Debbie had had Liza near her, she had been able to hold her whenever and be with her, she had the proper care because Kurt and Blaine took her in for the first month after Liza was born, until she was able to create a little distance between her and her daughter.

Blaine wonders if someone has called Debbie yet. She is Liza's mom after all and she should be informed about the situation Liza is currently in.

Not that he gets out of the chair, he merely keeps rocking and wondering and when and if Mason will ever drink this bottle.

He's supposed to drink every 3 hours, and so far he's managed but it's still too little. He doesn't finish any bottle Blaine prepares for him, and when he's not drinking he sleeps or cries.

He has bowel cramps, like every baby has, but the little sounds of agony in his sleep keep breaking Blaine's heart and when he realizes that he's sure.

He's not leaving Mason's side, even if it is just for one second.

This baby needs him now. His daughter might be in the hospital, but Mason is just as important and he needs his daddy to be around.

Blaine takes the bottle again and tries to hold it to Mason's mouth. Perhaps hearing the beat of Blaine's heart has helped, because he takes it immediately and starts drinking.

Blaine cries, hard and painful sobs emerge from his chest as Kurt walks into the room.

Kurt looks at Blaine and Blaine looks back at Kurt. They stare into each other's eyes for as long as Mason is drinking his bottle and it's enough for now. It's not enough for forever, it's not even enough for the entire day, but it's enough for this moment to know they can still look at each other and see everything they need to hear.

_It will be alright, I am here with you._

However, Kurt does wonder for how long he can take it. He knows Blaine won't leave Mason's side because that's who Blaine is. He understands why Blaine won't leave Mason's side.

Mason is a new born and to be thrown into all the emotions that this situation brings with it would be too much for the poor little guy.

And then a tiny sound comes from Mason, announcing he has finished his bottle. Blaine praises him, cuddles him close to his chest to help him burp and before he follows Kurt into the living room he puts Mason down in his crib.

.

* * *

><p>They're on the couch, staring mindlessly ahead as they hold hands.<p>

Blaine can't remember the last time they just held hands on the couch. It must have been while he was still in high school and they were sitting in the Hummel-Hudson living room, too afraid to do anything more than hold hands. They never 'just' hold hands anymore, they usually are either so far apart they don't even touch, or they are all wrapped up in each other. Holding hands feels silly and domestic at the same time.

It's Kurt who breaks the silence.

"My dad's going to make a full recovery," he says because neither of them are ready to face the facts about Liza.

"That's good." Blaine answers.

"Finn booked a flight for tomorrow."

"Will he come here or straight to the hospital?"

"I think he'll be here."

"Good," Blaine says, "I think I should stay here to welcome him."

Neither of them say this is just an excuse for Blaine to avoid going to the hospital. They both know it is.

"Mason's not been drinking right."

"You'll manage."

"According to the scale he's lost some weight."

"Every newborn does."

"He's going to be fine, right?"

"Of course he is," Kurt finishes the subject.

"Have you called Debbie yet?" Blaine asks.

"Carole did, Debbie's staying the night at the hospital so I could go home."

"That's good."

Never had they said everything they wanted to say, asked everything they wanted to know, heard everything they needed to know with such little words.

"Shall we go to bed?"

Kurt's question had never been so welcome, so Blaine nods and stands up first, tugging Kurt to his feet and holding him close, so close, before they both wander off to their bedroom.

Without washing up or brushing teeth they collapse on the bed. Kurt doesn't even go through the trouble of putting on pajama's and for the first time since high school Blaine is spooning Kurt's naked chest.

.

* * *

><p>A beeping sound is heard from Blaine's side of the bed.<p>

"Feeding time," he says lazily, "can you get it, Kurt?"

"Why me?"

"I stayed up with him all night last night."

Kurt sighs deeply.

"I've been with my dad and daughter at a hospital all day," is his counter argument.

Blaine decides not to fight it and gets out of bed to prepare a bottle.

When Kurt leaves the following morning, without a second glance at Mason, he chooses to ignore that fact.

.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm so sorry I promised to update more frequently and here I am making you wait a week again. Life's just been a mess, ended my relationship while we just moved in together, university is screwing things up with my studies and (on the brighter side) I'm an aunt and have been taking care of my sister and niece since last week. Hope to update more now! :)_


	6. My Brothers

Well it's no surprise  
>In those steel blue eyes<br>I can still see some flecks of fear  
>But you've grown up fast<br>So forget the past  
>And just hurry yourself from here<p>

Take it easy on me now, Brothers

**-Snow Patrol - My Brothers-**

**.**

* * *

><p>It's about an hour and a half after Kurt's left for the hospital that the doorbell rings. When Blaine opens it a four year old boy is jumping up and down.<p>

"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine where is the baby?" he asks.

Blaine smiles and picks the boy up to hug him.

"It's nice to see you, too, Jimmy," he laughs and gestures for Jimmy's mom to follow them inside.

"Kurt told me you needed a friend," she says as she leans over her pregnant belly to kiss his cheek.

"And he sends you?"

"Shut up, hobbit, you love me and you know it."

He laughs outright, even if he's positively miserable.

"Unfortunately, I do."

She settles on the couch, as Blaine goes to get Mason and lets him continue to sleep in his arms.

"He's gorgeous," Santana says as he sits down on the couch next to her and Jimmy climbs from her lap closer to Blaine and Mason to take a good look.

"Is that what my sister's going to look like?" he asks his mom and she smiles.

"She's going to look slightly different, but that is what babies look like."

He nods seriously before asking if he can play with Liza's toys and doesn't even give Blaine the time to answer, knowing exactly where to find everything in their overly cleaned house.

The house that has obviously not been occupied by a three year old recently. There's no crayons on the coffee table, where they usually are. There's no chocolate milk stain on the rug and there's no spout cup abandoned in a totally illogical place.

"So," Santana starts, "he called me to tell me to come here and asked me to call Rachel to send her to the hospital, care to inform me?"

Blaine closes his eyes and swallows back his tears.

"They had an accident," he says, "Carole was driving when someone crashed into them full front. Burt and Liza were without seatbelts, so they were in pretty bad shape. Carole just broke an arm."

"But they're going to be okay, right?"

Blaine looks at her. He doesn't really know what to say and he is thinking a thousand things at a time. She's pregnant seven months and he doesn't want to upset her.

He know how easily she is to upset, he clearly remembers her at his bedside junior year, as he was about to go into surgery for his eye. She was frantic, going 'all Lima Heights' on the doctor if he were to mess up.

He can't have that now, he needs to be careful and he needs to make sure she won't worry too much.

"Oh my god, they're dead," she gasps as Blaine doesn't immediately responds.

Blaine sort of laughs, still able to appreciate Santana's drama in the horror of this all.

"They're not dead, Santana, please keep breathing."

"Okay, so they crashed into someone else and that asshole did die. He was driving in the wrong direction on the highway. Carole was wearing her seatbelt, so she got out alright, just a broken arm and some light bruising. Burt had something in his stomach I think and his heart acted up, but that was it. He's around and recovering. Liza is in a medically induced coma, because her brain was swollen and the swelling has to subdue before they wake her up."

Somehow the words flow out of him, like he just wants to get them over and done with, and he's pretty sure he doesn't want to talk about it ever again. He just wants to cradle his son and sing him sweet songs and watch him sleep. That and Kurt here is really all he wants.

But he knows that's not what he can get right now and that is why he lets Santana envelop him in a hug. It's slightly awkward because she has a pregnant belly, but mostly because it's Santana and Santana doesn't hug. Not with anyone that isn't her family.

"She'll be alright," Santana whispers, "she'll be alright, she'll be alright, she'll be alright."

.

* * *

><p>Kurt has been sitting at Liza's bedside for two hours before he notices his back hurting from being in the same position for so long.<p>

Debbie is sitting next to him, her eyes are red and puffy and her nose is drooping, but at least she isn't making sobbing noises anymore.

Rachel is out to get coffee and Kurt thanks the lord she has matured over the years and knows to keep quiet and not pray to her Jewish god like she did when his father was in a coma.

He takes the coffee when Rachel gets back and thanks her, he is also thankful for Rachel's arm around Debbie's shoulder, because he can't handle comforting her right now.

He's somewhat envious Debbie is here with him, because she is not the one raising Liza. He knows she loves her just as much, he knows she really is her mom and he knows they kept Debbie in her life for good reason (look at all the good it did Rachel when she met her mom), but she still is not the one raising Liza with him and yet she seems more affected by the current situation than Blaine is.

He knows Blaine has a hard time dealing with things and he loves the fact that Blaine is putting Mason first, but he wishes Blaine could do that here, next to him, while holding his hand and staring at the harmonica that pumps the oxygen into her lungs.

He wants to feel Blaine's tears on his bare shoulder, because he would be too tired to lift up the sleeve of his vest and Blaine would be too tired to pretend to be strong for all of them.

He wants Blaine next to him as they watch her tiny chest rise and fall and he wants the strong hands that can always, _always, _comfort him to hold him and whisper in his ears that it'll be alright.

None of it will happen in the near future, he gathered that much from what Rachel said on the phone talking to Santana.

Blaine is at the park with her.

The freaking park, taking a nice stroll with his best friend and her pregnant belly and a freaking new born.

Blaine is there and he is here, sitting in the same seat and the same position for two hours, gathering strength to get up and leave his daughter for five minutes to check up on his dad and stepmom.

It hurts so bad.

.

* * *

><p>"He didn't even look at Mason this morning."<p>

Blaine looks out over the playground, not really watching and yet keeping an eye on Jimmy, even if Santana is doing the same.

"I've stayed up with him two nights in a row and when I was feeding him his bottle this morning Kurt didn't even come into the room to say goodbye to us. To me."

Santana tries to shoot him a sympathetic look, but he knows her better than that and he knows her longer than that, so he lets the tears well up in his eyes and asks her what to do.

"Go to the hospital," she says, "I can watch Mason for the day if you really don't want him in that environment, but I do think you will have to go."

Blaine looks at her pointedly.

"You really think I'm leaving my son with you? He's only a few days old."

Santana smiles.

"Jimmy's been the same age, hobbit, I know how to take care of him."

Now Blaine smiles.

"Do you remember when Jimmy was not even a week old? You didn't even let you _girlfriend _hold him, do you really think you would've been ready to leave him with someone?"

"Okay, then we're both going there, I don't care, but we're going."

"You're pregnant," Blaine protests.

"Well, good, then I'll be in a hospital if my waters break."

She calls Jimmy over.

"Does he know?"

"Of course he doesn't, I didn't know before you told me."

So on their way to the hospital they take turns in explaining to Jimmy what has happened to his girlfriend (yes, girlfriend and they'll get married when Liza's belly is as big as Jimmy's mom's belly.)

They explain that she was in a car accident, they were sitting in a car and another car hit them really hard and now Liza is asleep for a very long time, with all sorts of machines attached to her to help her breathe and all that jazz, so she doesn't have to work that hard.

When it's all being explained in kid's vocabulary it somehow hits Blaine harder than it did before, if that is even possible and he thinks it is because it reminds him even more of when he was five and his little brother was in a car crash.

They explained everything to him in kid's vocabulary back then.

.

* * *

><p>Kurt doesn't believe what he sees when Santana walks into the room, because Santana had said she would accompany Blaine all day.<p>

Kurt had made her promise, because Blaine needed someone to be with him, needed someone to help him get through this in his own way, even if Kurt despises him for not being there at the moment.

"He's here," she whispers as she squeezes Kurt's shoulder.

"He's just too afraid to come in, I think, he froze when he saw the breathing equipment."

Right.

"Jimmy really wants to say hi and give her a kiss, though, is that okay?"

Kurt nods.

"He can only kiss her hand, not her cheek. Her neck and head aren't allowed to move."

"And what would you think about little Mason and Liza meeting for the first time? Are you up for that?"

Kurt's eyes go wide.

"Oh, uhm, maybe you should, maybe Rachel… But Debbie is here, I don't want to make Debbie uncomfortable."

"I won't be," Debbie pipes up immediately, "babies are miracles and I think we could use one of those in here."

Kurt doesn't know how to argue with that.

"I'll go talk to Blaine," Kurt says before he flees to room to find his husband staring blankly through the window, not really seeing anything.

"Santana wants Liza to meet the baby."

"Mason."

"What?"

"His name is Mason."

"Yeah, well, Santana wants him to meet her."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

Kurt takes his place next to Blaine, staring blankly through the window.

Santana comes out of the room.

"Take him in," Kurt and Blaine say in unison and Santana hesitates, opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but Rachel follows after her and takes Mason out of the stroller.

Neither Kurt nor Blaine even look at the woman as she becomes the first one, besides them, to hold their son.

"She'll be okay," Kurt says.

"My brother died," Blaine answers.

He expects Kurt to yell or scream, or anything angry and upset at that moment, so he is sort of shocked when Kurt's hand slips into his.

"She's not him."

Blaine nods.

"Did Finn arrive yet?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"And Cooper?"

"Haven't called him."

"You should call him, Blaine."

They keep looking into the room, neither of them registering the way Jimmy clings to Santana's hand, watching the baby in awe. Neither of them see the way Rachel sits down next to Debbie and holds Mason out to their little girl.

They do hear Rachel's voice, because even if she matured and is not as obnoxious as she was in high school, her voice still carries.

"Hi Liza, he's here. Mason is your little brother and he is just as perfect as you. He loves you a lot and I think you would really love him a lot, too."

Rachel takes five more minutes, before Santana takes Mason over from them and walks back out of the room.

She stands next to Kurt expectantly, sort of holding Mason out to him.

"Liza needs me," he says and hurries past her back to his daughter's bedside.

"We've got to hurry back," Blaine says, "Finn can arrive any moment now and he doesn't have a key or a clue where to find us."

"He has a phone."

"We have to get back, Santana."

And that's it, it's final. Kurt doesn't hold Mason and Blaine doesn't enter Liza's room.

They've tried, it's established like this until the situation will change.

_Until Liza wakes up._

Blaine keeps trying to convince himself all the way home, but he just doesn't succeed.

.

* * *

><p>"Little brother, when were you going to call me!"<p>

Cooper and Finn are sitting on the couch in the living room when Blaine and Santana enter the house.

"What are you doing here, who let you in?"

"I have a spare key, B." Cooper answers as if it's utterly normal to just let yourself into your brother's place without letting said brother know in the first place.

"I… right, okay, what you are doing here is still a mystery, though?"

Cooper smiles.

"I had to read on one Kurt Hummel's Facebook that his son was born, perfectly healthy and that you and him were on your way back to New York. I thought I'd wait for you to call me, but you still didn't and so I thought I'd visit. When I came here, this giant next to me was sitting on your doorstep pouting, because his mom told him to hurry out to New York and when he got here no one was home."

Blaine is happy Mason is in his stroller, because he is pretty sure he would have dropped _anything _he might have been holding at this moment.

"You don't know?" he looks at Finn abashed.

"Know what?"

"About…" he hesitates how much he can say without sending either of them into shock, "about your car?"

"Mom said there was a problem and I should hurry, but that's all."

Luckily Santana is behind him and she knows Blaine can't handle this right now. He feels guilty for having heavily pregnant woman clean up all the mess, or maybe creating mess, but he knows if he has to tell the story one more time today he'll fall apart.

So she scurries him upstairs and into bed, lies Mason on his chest and covers them up, and lays Jimmy in bed for his nap in Liza's room. She tells him to enjoy his time with his son, before she heads back downstairs to inform the brothers.

About fifteen minutes later he's in a slumber, but still slightly awake and pushing sleep, because if he falls asleep no one will be able to watch the covers if they would hover over Mason, and the door pushes open to reveal a teary eyed Cooper.

He carefully slides into bed next to Blaine and courses a gentle hand through his hair.

"Finn's at the hospital and Santana is cooking dinner," he says, "I'm here so you can go to sleep now, I'll make sure Mason will be alright."

Blaine wants to respond, really wants to, but even if he didn't want Cooper here, the presence of his older brother soothes him more than it should and he lets himself slide into a deep sleep.

But not before mentally apologizing.

_I´m so sorry Cooper._

_She reminds me of him so much._

_I didn´t want to remind you._

_You´ll need comfort just as much as I do._

_I´m so sorry Cooper._

_._

* * *

><p><em>A<em>_/N: Again, so sorry! This chapter is long overdue, but it was the hardest to write! __I'm not going to promise for any quicker uploads anymore, because real life is interfering and this fic is proving to be very difficult to write!__  
>Hope you all like it, let me know your thoughts either here or on tumblr :)!<em>


	7. Lifeboats

Hold on, hold, let me get the words out before I burst.  
>There's no truth at all, poking at the giant eyes of ancient gods.<br>Cool heads have failed, now it's time for me to have my turn.  
>Kiss me, kiss me, life is way too short to scream and shout.<p>

**-Lifeboats-Snow Patrol-**

* * *

><p>It's five weeks since the accident and Mason is developing extremely well. He is more awake than he was in the beginning and he seems to be completely comfortable with both Blaine and Santana.<p>

Santana sort of permanently moved in with Blaine, so to speak. She does go home to sleep in her own bed at night, but not before Kurt's home and Blaine's asleep.

She's also back in the house before Blaine is awake in the morning. Mason turns out to be the perfect baby that sleeps through the nigt, and Blaine is mostly grateful for it. Though it wouldn't have mattered if he would wake at night, Blaine would happily get out of bed and take care of him.

However, it would all be a bit much with Kurt not helping at all. It's also not helping that Kurt had to return to work. They knew the day would come, but it came a lot faster than the expected.  
>Kurt managed to get another week, but he has been working half days for a week now.<p>

Kurt still doesn't chance a second glance at Mason and Blaine hasn't stepped past the threshold of Liza's room at the hospital.

Ever since Kurt returned to work he hasn't been at the hospital at all, because he can't handle waiting outside the room without Kurt's hand to hold.

After Kurt finishes work every day, he rushes to the hospital to, usually, find an empty room there.

Where everyone was so concerned and dropped everything they had to do the first week, everyone also had lives to live, so now they visit once or twice a week.

Kurt walks home for dinner and then after dinner he takes the bike they own but rarely use, to sit at Liza's bedside for a few more hours before he has to go to sleep.

Between Kurt and Blaine, things haven't really changed.

Between Kurt and Blaine, everything has changed.

They still sleep wrapped around each other.

They never have sex anymore.

They still kiss each other goodbye in the morning.

They never kiss each other hello when Kurt comes home.

Like now, Kurt comes home and he's a little out of breath because he sat at Liza's bedside for just a little too long, spending time with his daughter but also avoiding the awkward situation he knew awaited him at home, but he has to be in bed at eleven, so he cycled a little hard.

Blaine looks up to him from the couch where he is feeding Mason his last bottle for the day. Blaine gives him a tight smile and Kurt smiles back, relenting the fact that neither of them _mean _the smile. He knows Blaine doesn't want him to cycle, because no one in the city pays attention to cyclers. That's partly why he does it. Mostly because it's faster than walking to the hospital, but partly to annoy Blaine.

And he finds he does that more and more, finding things merely to annoy Blaine.

He is so, _so _angry at Blaine for not stepping foot inside Liza's room at the hospital, where she's been breathing on her own for the past five days.

_Breathing on her own, Blaine, she's breathing on her own._

So he cycles when Blaine doesn't want him to. He comes home without kissing Blaine. He knows how important coming home kisses are for Blaine.

_I'm so afraid you'll meet someone else in New York, Kurt, when I see you again you'll have to kiss me to tell me I'm still yours and you're still mine._

He jumps in the shower before Blaine can offer to draw him a bath like he used to every night, but he also knows even if he waits Blaine won't offer.

Because he knows Blaine is as angry with as he is with Blaine. He knows Blaine wants him to hold Mason, to cradle and love him the way he desperately wants to himself, but he doesn't.

Because his daughter is in a coma and his dad can't walk two feet without getting exhausted and his stepmom's arm is in a cast and none of it would have happened if…

No, he's not going there. He's not blaming the baby.

The baby has nothing to do with this.

It's all the asshole who died in that car crash, the asshole driving on the wrong side of the freaking high way. That's the one.

So he doesn't blame the baby, but he also doesn't kiss Blaine hello and he walks straight into the hot shower.

He lets the water wash away every thought like he does every night and so what he doesn't expect is Blaine sliding into the shower behind him after five minutes or so.

"I miss you," Blaine states.

Kurt freezes.

He wants to say he misses Blaine, too, because he does. But he's also really angry. So he settles for saying nothing and leaning back against Blaine's familiar body.

Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and they stay there for a while, neither of them saying anything because it's still awkward.

It's not more awkward than in the living room, not less awkward. Just awkward. It doesn't matter where they are, in what situation or how they are dressed (like not at all, in this particular moment), everything they do is awkward.

"We have to talk," Blaine eventually breaks the silence and Kurt tips his head back to lay it on Blaine's shoulder.

It's an weird angle and his neck is slightly strained, but it's also Blaine's shoulder and Blaine's body he is leaning against so in a way it's not painful at all.

"I love you."

He doesn't know why he says it and he knows it's not the thing to say at this moment, but he just doesn't know what else to say and he needs Blaine to know he still loves him despite what's happening to and between them.

"Me too," Blaine says and it's the first time he's said it. It's always 'love you too', or 'love you', or nothing at all, but never 'me too'. Never.

"I don't get why you don't take care of Mason, Kurt."

Kurt wrestles himself free from the strong hold Blaine had on his waist, heads out of the shower and wraps a towel around him.

"You loved him when we brought him home, you were so crazy about him during the entire car ride and ever since we set foot in that hospital you won't even look at him anymore."

Kurt starts brushing his teeth rather forcefully, so Blaine shuts of the water of the shower and continues.

"I don't get it. He's your son and we're in this together. Why won't you love him like you love Liza?"

Kurt blows up.

His toothbrush ends up against the doorframe, toothpaste scattered all over the bathroom and for the first time since half his family almost _died, _he let's go.

He lets himself be angry, he lets himself be the weak one. He lets himself _feel _that all this is real and happening and not in the way he had expected.

"You're asking me to love him like I love Liza?" he spits at Blaine, "you are actually asking me to love him like I love her?"

Blaine's eyes are wide and a hint of fear is to be detected if one would look closely ,but Kurt isn't looking closely. Not at Blaine.

Not at the person who abandoned him in his time of need.

"You really think you have a right to speak like that, do you Blaine? You really think you have a right to ask that of me when you won't even be in the same room as her?"

Neither of them know what is happening between them, but they know this fight will be bigger than any fight they'd ever had.

This isn't for the sake of fighting and making up. This isn't for the sake of knowing they're still together because they want to and not out of habit. This isn't because one of them is too proud or stubborn to change their mind about how to go at the future.

This is about the future and about now. It's about the past and everything that was a lie and is a lie. It's about everything that needs to be said and needs to be done. It's about everything they haven't talked about so far.

"You know why I can't," Blaine pleads. Because Kurt knows. He _knows._

"It's 25 years ago, Blaine, get over it. Your little brother is dead. How sad, go fuck yourself."

"He was as old as her, moron, I can't see her and have hope until we have news. I can't see her and not think of his fate when I do. I can't, Kurt, I can't."

"She's your _daughter, _Blaine."

"Yeah, well, he's your _son."_

That's really all that _should _matter. It's an argument in itself and it's a pretty big argument.

She's his daughter and Blaine's his husband and they're in this together. Or are they?  
>They have to be. Blaine's his husband.<p>

_In sickness and in health._

"In sickness and in health, Blaine."

O god. It suddenly comes down to Blaine. Kurt's his husband.

Their kid is in a coma.

Kurt's his husband.

He rushes forward, presses his mouth to Kurt hard and hot.

"She's my daughter," he says between kisses, "she's my daughter and you're my husband."

They kiss, hard and wet. Too much teeth and not enough tongue. Never enough tongue.

Kurt quickly loses the towel and Blaine is still naked, so rutting against each other is easy and it's quick. It's like they're teenagers and have ten minutes before someone comes home all over again.

Still, it's not enough for Blaine. He wants to feel, he _needs _to feel. So he grabs Kurt's cock and starts stroking it hard.

"I need it," he breaths hot in Kurt's ear.

"I need you inside of me."

Kurt, who was holding himself up on the sink, quickly catches Blaine's words and wraps his arms around him to lift him.

"Yes, I need to fuck you so hard," he says as Blaine's legs find their way around Kurt's body. As Kurt stumbles towards the bedroom, Blaine can already feel Kurt's dick teasing up and down his ass. He needs more.

So when they get to the bedroom and Kurt actually throws him on the bed and crawls on top of him, he isn't even surprised. Even if Kurt is never rough like this.

Kurt kisses him hard again, all teeth again and still not enough tongue. It's also way too soon that Kurt's mouth is off him, not that he complains because Kurt's mouth is actually rapidly traveling south, not mapping out Blaine's body like he usually does but licking one long, wet stripe from his lips, over his chin and throat, in between his nipples, in his navel, down the dark stripe of hair, over his cock, and balls, to his hole.

He teases Blaine's hole open but not slow, sweet and sensual. It's quick, rough and like he has no time to spare.

He doesn't.

He adds two fingers at once next to his tongue and Blaine is so overwhelmed with everything that he doesn't even _really _notices the lack of lube or preparation. Of course he feels the sting but somehow it's welcome.

Like it's setting things straight for him.

Like he has to feel Kurt is still there and he is still there for Kurt, wide and open and willing.

It doesn't take Kurt long to add two more fingers and it really is just all tongue, fingers and saliva and the burn is _so, so _welcome for Blaine that it should worry him but it doesn't.

It doesn't worry him because Kurt's mouth is off him and his fingers are out of him and suddenly Kurt is above him, straddling his chest and pushing his cock to Blaine's lips.

"Make me wet, Blaine, slick me up for you."

So Blaine does. He wraps his mouth around Kurt's cock and takes him in as deep and as fast as he can. He licks every inch he can reach with his tongue and he makes sure to wet it as good as he can, before pulling back again and not even trying to tease some more.

"Fuck me," he orders and Kurt obliges.

He is between Blaine's legs in an instant, throws Blaine's legs over his shoulders and lines his cock up with Blaine's hole to slam right into him with one firm movement.

"Nngh.. so tight for me."

"fuck me – Kurt.. hard"

Kurt thrusts into Blaine again and again, mercy nowhere near his vocabulary at the moment and it's all about the slamming, the feeling and _you. should. feel. this. for. days._

He slams and slams and when he sees Blaine's hand reaching for his own cock he slaps it away.

"Not until I say you can," he breaths hard and heavy between their mouths, because somehow they got pressed together.

So he inches all the way out and slams his cock in one more time, two more times, before he changes the angle and -…

"FUCKKURTYESTHERENEVERSTOP.."

Kurt immediately grabs hold of Blaine's cock and pumps it hard and in time with his thrusts, to feel Blaine clench around him and spill over his hand and Blaine throws his head back like he always does, which seems to be the only usual thing about this all so Kurt watches as Blaine screws up his face in his familiar post-orgasm haze and in the end that's what does it for Kurt, that's what has him spilling inside of Blaine with one last thrust.

The familiar face, the Blaine he knows. That's what he eventually gets off on.

Kurt collapses on top of Blaine, who lets out a surprised gasp and wraps his hands around his husbands body.

He smiles into Kurt's hair that somehow still smells like the shampoo he just washed it with. He keeps his nose buried in Kurt's hair because it smells like Kurt and the rest of the room smells like sex and it was weird sex.

Hot sex, but weird sex and he doesn't really want to talk about it.

"So we really just had make up sex, did we?"

Apparently Kurt _does _want to talk about it. At least, until Mason starts to cry.

Because that's when Kurt freezes in Blaine's hold and Blaine's world crashes down.

"No, no I think we didn't. I think we just had _hate _sex_."_

_._

* * *

><p><em>AN. Okay this was a really hard one! But we're moving in the right direction now. Let me know your thought, here or find me under the same username on tumblr!_


	8. It's Beginning To Get To Me

It's not there now  
>Ineloquence and anger<br>Are all we have

Like Saturn's rings  
>An icy loop around me<br>Too hard to hold

Lash out first  
>At all the things we don't like<br>Or understand

And it's beginning to get to me  
>That I know more of the stars and sea<br>Than I do of what's in your head  
>Barely touching in our cold bed<p>

**-Snow Patrol – It's Beginning To Get To Me- **

**.**

* * *

><p>Blaine wakes abruptly as the covers are pulled off of him.<p>

"Time to get up Blaine Humm…. is that cum on your chest?"

"hmmorningsantana," he murmurs and turns over.

"Time to get up, Blaine," she says again, "Kurt told me to let you sleep but I'm not your maid and I'm also eight and a half months pregnant so I'm not taking care of your baby the entire day. I'll have my own to do that for."

"fine'mup," he mumbles again and turns around, planning to bury himself in Kurt's pillow to take in his scent, only to find it not there.

He is suddenly more awake, realizing Kurt slept on the couch that night.

Kurt slept on the couch that night, and Blaine wonders how he even fell asleep, they haven't slept apart for years and years.

He gets up reluctantly, showers and rinses himself thoroughly, trying not to think of how amazing it felt last night, to finally have Kurt on and over and in him again, so familiar and yet so foreign.

He does his best to not imagine the sweaty skin he knows so well, and the commands Kurt gave him that he isn't used to. They're usually so timid, sweet and romantic.  
>Yes, occasionally they can really be rough, fuck like there is no tomorrow but that is always followed up with soft kisses and sweet apologies for causing the other pain. They've never fucked as raw as they did last night.<br>Something really happened between them, shifted and changed for good. Maybe it had been changing for the past six weeks, but now it's sealed.  
>Kurt is angry and Blaine is angry and somehow Kurt has the upper hand, Kurt can let Blaine do whatever he wishes him to do. Blaine will bend to Kurt's every will.<br>Or at least he did so last night, he's not going to anymore. He's not going to let Kurt direct his life this way.  
>Today Blaine is going to take the upper hand.<p>

When he walks into the living room he finds Santana balancing Mason on her arm, around her enormous belly and he can see it's kind of uncomfortable for her, so he takes Mason over from her and settles next to her.

"Care to tell me what happened?" She asks.

Blaine shrugs.

"We had sex."

"Right, that's why I find Kurt sleeping on the couch and you passed out cold in your bed with dried cum on your chest."

"Yeah," Blaine says as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Elaborate."

So Blaine tells her, he tells her all about how he had snuck up on Kurt in the shower, how they had screamed and how one of them, he doesn't even remember who, started kissing the other hard and painful and with so much anger and lust and how they had stumbled to the bedroom.

"He didn't even use lube," he says and Santana winces, though he's not sure if she does it empathetically or just to let him know she's listening and it's sort of obliged.

He doesn't linger on it, though, he tells her how he came, probably harder than ever before because of all the new sensations. He tells her how Kurt went slack on top of him and how Kurt froze when Mason started to cry.

"We had hate sex," he says and Santana actually laughs at that.

"That was anything_ but _hate sex," she tells him, "you and Kurt could never have hate sex."

Blaine shoots her an annoyed look.

"Seriously, Blaine. It might have been anger sex or frustration sex or whatever, but in order to have hate sex you have to _hate _someone."

"Oh and you know all about that?"

"Yup. Sure do."

"Dear god, Santana, when have you had hate sex? You've been with Brittany forever and after the two of you broke up you've been single for _two months _before you found your one and only."

"I used to be the queen of cheating," she says, "it's actually how I knew Quinn was cheating on Sam back in the days, I cheated all the time."

"On Brittany?" Blaine asks.

"Just once," she answers.

Blaine would ask further if this was the time, if it was just another day of the two of them gossiping and sharing stories. They do that a lot, Santana telling Blaine about Jimmy and the pregnancy and whatever is going on between her and her girlfriend, Blaine gushing over how perfect Liza is and how he has some freaking talented students and the amazing sex Kurt and he had three nights ago.  
>Now is not the time, he already told her about the sex, Liza is in a coma and Santana has been here every day since. He doesn't have anything new to tell her and he doesn't want to hear anything new from her.<p>

"Kurt doesn't care for Mason, Santana, he doesn't love him."

Santana shushes Blaine with soft stroking fingers through his drying curls, as she pulls him down on the couch and right up against her. It's a tough fit with her huge belly, but he manages and her hands do calm him.

"Of course he loves him," she says, "you don't visit Liza but you love her, right?"

Blaine nods as he looks down at Mason in his arms, contently asleep as if nothing is wrong in this world he is living in.

"Something has to change," Blaine says determinately, "something's going to change."

.

* * *

><p>Kurt sits at Liza's bed, having called his work to tell them he can't make it. They didn't mind, knowing Liza is still in the hospital.<p>

His plan was to talk to Blaine today, he knows they need to talk. Blaine called it _hate _sex last night and that's absolutely not what it was to Kurt. He knows why Blaine did, it was because Kurt froze in his arms the moment Mason started to cry.  
>However, Blaine assumed wrong. Kurt didn't freeze because he didn't want to hear Mason, or because the magical moment was ruined because of the baby. Yes, it was, but not in the way Blaine thinks. Not because Kurt doesn't care for Mason.<p>

He does, he cares for Mason just as much as he cares for Liza and he realized that right before they attacked each other with passionate and painful kisses in the bathroom. Liza might have been his child longer than Mason, and without Mason Liza might have still been around, but they are both his children. He loves Mason and he is going to own up to that.  
>He doesn't know how to make it up to Blaine, or convince Blaine that he has really changed, he will <em>really <em>take care of Mason now, but he will. He'll convince Blaine.

He also doesn't really know how on earth he and Blaine will have to live under the same roof, caring for Mason together as long as Blaine doesn't visit Liza. Kurt knows Blaine loves her, he knows why it's difficult for him to visit her and he knows why he is so fucking scared, but he's still angry.

He's angry that Blaine won't be with her, be there for her. She needs both her parents and she doesn't have them right now. Somewhere deep in his heart Kurt thinks that's one of the reasons she won't wake up, because she knows her daddy has abandoned her.

A cough sounds at the door of Liza's room, and when Kurt looks around he is met by a sight he did not expect.

Blaine is standing there, behind him Santana and the stroller. Santana pushes the stroller lightly up to Blaine so he is forced into the room and as he steps over the threshold of the room, something in the room changes. For Blaine it's as if the weight of the world falls off his shoulders, he hasn't been this close to his girl in six weeks.  
>For Kurt it is as if the weight of the world falls down on his shoulders. He doesn't trust Blaine anymore. He doesn't trust Blaine to not go away, he doesn't trust Blaine to stay or get close to Liza. He's protective of his little girl and Blaine has hurt her. Maybe not so intentionally, but he has and now as Blaine is here Kurt knows he can't forgive Blaine this easily.<p>

Blaine rushes to Liza's side as soon as he takes his eyes off of Kurt. He holds her hand and sits down in the chair Kurt was sitting in.

Santana looks between the two doubtfully, as if she wants to do or say something, but she simply pushes the stroller with Mason in it into the room, letting Kurt take over with a curious look.

Kurt sets the stroller in a far corner away from the bed as he lifts Mason out of it and holds him up in his arms and close to his chest.

It feels foreign, but it feels so, _so _right.

"Hello little fellow," he whispers, "hi, sweetie, do you remember me? I'm your papa."

He sees Blaine look at him from the corner of his eye, the way they both used to look at people who picked Liza up without asking, but he ignores it. If Blaine can holds Liza's hand without consulting if it's even _safe, _he can hold Mason all he wants.

He sees Blaine swallow heavily, sigh deeply and move closer to Liza, to stroke through her hair. Yes, Kurt had told him two weeks ago that they were allowed to touch her head and hair now, but if he were Blaine he'd still asked first.

Still, as Blaine talks to her he melts a little inside.

Santana excuses herself, telling them she believes they'll be fine and she'll be at home if they need her.

"Hi, baby girl, daddy is here. I'm here sweetie, I'm here. Daddy's with you now."

It's how they spend their entire day, reassuring the children they'd neglected thus far that they are, in fact, going to be a good parent from now on.

"I'm your papa, Mason, I'm going to take good care of you from now on. I love you little fellow."

"I'm here now, baby girl, daddy's here for you. I love you, little darling."

.

* * *

><p>They walk home in silence, Kurt pushing the stroller and as they walk through the door the smell of one of Santana's traditional recipes fills up their noses.<p>

Mason is wailing at the top of his lungs, clearly in desperate need of his evening bottle, which Kurt hurries into the kitchen to retrieve. Meanwhile, Blaine lifts Mason from the stroller and rocks him softly back and forth while humming softly, his lips grazing over the top of his little head.

"Shhh, papa's getting your milk, baby boy," he whispers in between his song, "papa's coming for you."

He almost means it, it almost feels sincere that he is reassuring Mason with the promise of papa, but really he's terrified. Because what if he misunderstood? What if Kurt walks away again, if the entire day of holding Mason was enough and now he'll get back to ignoring his existence.

"Papa will come for you," he whispers to Mason, trying to convince himself just as hard.

He actually can't believe the relief he feels when Kurt does in fact return with a perfectly warmed up bottle, and takes Mason from Blaine's arms.

"Please?" he even asks and Blaine wonders if Kurt can feel his hesitation, but he simply nods and leaves Kurt with Mason, as he joins Santana in the kitchen.

"Blaine can you keep an eye on the stove as I -aaaaah- …", Santana points to the stove where there's a pot of hot water and rice, as she grabs her belly and beds over.

"Just keep an eye on the stove and I'll get the potatoes from the oven," she says after a minute, when she stands up straight again.

"Woaah, woah Santana what's going on?"

"Nothing, I'll be fine."

"Santana?" it's Kurt now, from the couch, craining his neck to be able to look over at the kitchen.

"I'll be fine," she says, "I have to cook this for you and make sure you both eat and Mason gets his last bottle and then I can go and see what's happening. I have to take care of you guys."

Both Kurt and Blaine's eyes widen.

"No, no, missy, you are getting to the hospital now. We'll have Ellen bring Jimmy over and you guys are going to the hospital together.

Santana wants to protest, but another contraction hits her so Blaine guides her over to the couch and sets her down next to Kurt.

"You wait right here," he says, "I'm calling Ellen."

"Blaine wait!"

Blaine turns around and meets Kurt's gaze, that is obviously one that is not agreeing with something.

"We still have those plastic mat's in the bathroom, right? Can you put one under Santana? I don't want her water to break all over my couch.

Blaine smirks. That's the Kurt he knows, the Kurt he loves and wants to be with for the rest of their live. It's the Kurt he misses with every fiber of his being, even if he only is a foot away.

.

* * *

><p>It's three hours later when Ellen finally pulls the door close behind her, Santana still able to walk and Jimmy half asleep on Kurt's arm.<p>

"Where are my mommies going?" he asks softly, clearly almost asleep but too worried his mom's won't come back.

"They are going to the hospital, sweetheart, they'll be back with your sister tomorrow."

Back in the living room Kurt finds Blaine reading the long list of bedtime routine Ellen brought with her. This is the first time Jimmy is _ever _sleeping over somewhere else, other than his naptime at daycare, so she wants them to be very thorough with their nighttime traditions.

First, they drink a mug of warm milk and Kurt is more excited than he probably should be, but Blaine promises to himself to bring Kurt a mug of warm milk every night before bed from now on.

After the milk, Blaine takes Jimmy to the bathroom to brush his teeth and he's done it this way a million times before.  
>"Wanna do it myself," Jimmy says and Blaine lets him, before checking and brushing over them again.<p>

Then they climb in the bed, both Kurt and Blaine trying their best to not be too upset by the fact another child is going to sleep in Liza's bed.

Kurt reads Jimmy a bedtime story with the lights still on, but then moves to the door opening and turns the lights off. Blaine stays behind on the bed, singing a lullaby, kisses the top of Jimmy's head before leaving the room, and before he has closed the door Jimmy is already fast asleep.

It's painful, really, to take care of a kid Liza's age.

"Do you think she's going to live?" Blaine asks when he enters the living room, where Kurt has picked up Mason from the baby bouncer.

"She has too."

"My brother died."

It's still one of Blaine's biggest fears, even if she is not his brother, it still sounds so, _so _exactly the same.

Three year old, involved in a car accident, in a coma for weeks.

"I talked to Cooper," Kurt says, "Cooper was at the hospital three days ago."

Blaine has seen Cooper two days ago, but Cooper did not mention visiting the hospital.

"I asked him about…," Kurt hesitates, "about your younger brother," he says, avoiding the use of Mason's name.

"You were five, Blaine, I know you remember it, but Cooper was fifteen. I think we should listen to the facts about the event he has to tell us. You remember the basics, the emotions, he remembers what happened."

Maybe Kurt is right, but Blaine isn't sure he wants to listen.

"They had very different injuries. Your brother did not breath on his own after seven weeks, the swelling in his brain had not subdued and there was no brain activity."

Kurt lets a silence linger for Blaine to process what he's saying.

"Liza is breathing on her own, they saw brain activity on the scans, even if minimal this can increase, and the swelling in her brain is good as gone."

Blaine hears the difference, but he still doesn't _feel _it. They are both still in a coma in his head.

"The biggest difference, Blaine, is for your brother there was a plug to pull. For Liza there isn't a pull we can plug. We just have to wait and see."

Blaine knows it isn't entirely true, there is still one plug they can pull to cause Liza's death if they think her life isn't worth it as it is, but he doesn't voice it.

He's not going to be the one to opt to stop feeding her, even if maybe it's the best thing as he sees no way she'll ever wake up.

"She'll wake up, Blaine," Kurt whispers.

Blaine stands up and leaves for bed, without showering or brushing his teeth.

He lies awake, he hears Kurt putting Mason to bed, hears him singing a lullaby, thinking how Kurt is singing the wrong lullaby to him. That's not the lullaby Blaine sings to him every night. Mason is going to be confused.

He hears Kurt softly close Mason's door and waits for their bedroom door to creak and for the bed to dip with the wait of Kurt's body on the other side, but it never comes.

Instead he hears the third step of the staircase creak as Kurt walks down again, and he hears the door in the hallway open, where he knows a spare blanket is lying for unexpected guests, and he somehow finds himself relieved he doesn't have to sleep next to Kurt tonight.

He wonders if it will ever be okay again, if Liza wakes up or not, he wonders if they make it through either way.

.

* * *

><p>Kurt leaves early the following morning, Santana and Ellen haven't called yet, so he leaves Ellen an message, saying he'll be at the hospital and Jimmy is home with Blaine and Mason.<p>

Before he leaves he does slip into Mason's room to look at the little guy for a few minutes, dips a kiss that doesn't wake him on the top of his head, and promises to be home for lunch.

He takes his bicycle to the hospital, even if and mostly because he knows how much it pisses Blaine off, and he sits at Liza's bedside for a good three hours before he hears the voice behind him.

"Kurt Hummel, is that you?"

Kurt turns around to see Justin Harold standing behind him at the foot of Liza's bed, wearing a nurse's uniform.

"Justin?" he asks, "Justin Harold, who I did the reunion production of Bare with?"

Justin smiles and nods.

"That's the one," he says and Kurt smirks.

"Justin Harold, who had the biggest crush on me and didn't care if my husband saw or knew."


	9. Make Up

_**IMPORTANT A/N: **__Sorry, I screwed up. I named him Jason, but his name was supposed to be Justin. Jason is the part he played in Bare. Also, Jason is too close to Mason for me to __properly work with ;-). So keep in mind, __**what was previously Jason is now Justin!**_

_**.**_

* * *

><p>If I could understand this better<br>I might be a little closer to you  
>Brushing my face with her hair<br>As she pushes past towards the door

**- Snow Patrol - Make Up - **

**.**

* * *

><p>Justin and Kurt talk a little, Kurt wondering how his former friend ended up as a nurse in the children's ward, if he'd done any theatre after their revival of Bare and how his love life was getting along. Turns out he was already studying to be a nurse when they did Bare, he'd quite acting as a profession after he got his degree and he is still, happily so, very unattached.<p>

"So this is little Liza? My god she's grown," Justin says after minutes of catching up, nodding to the bed.

"Really?" Kurt smiles only a little, "she's never looked smaller to me."

"Right," Justin says, "I'm sorry, of course she does. If it helps I think she still looks as beautiful as she did two years ago."

"Thanks."

"What exactly happened?" Justin asks, "This is not my ward. I work at the regular children's ward, I'm just here to pick up a patient that doesn't need 24 hour watch anymore," he explains.

So Kurt explains how she, Carole and his dad were in a car crash, he tells Justin that Carole is fine and out of her cast and that she is taking care of Burt at Rachel's place until he is cleared for travel, how Finn is currently staying over at Cooper's place and he takes as long as possible to talk around the subject of Liza's condition. He knows how it is, he knows the facts and the chances but it's still another thing to say it out loud to someone who's not his father or his husband. Even if the guy is a nurse and will probably understand everything he says without much questions about it.

He does get to it eventually, tells Justin how she hit her head pretty hard, how a piece of glass and penetrated her skull so fiercely it stabbed into the frontal lobe, how some amazing neurosurgeon got it out one piece without doing too much damage. He tells Justin how the internal bleeding in her stomach is completely healed and that, if she were awake, she'd be allowed to eat solid food by now. He tells her how the swelling in her brain had taken very long to subdue, but it's completely subdued now. He tells Justin that they took her off the breathing equipment a few weeks ago and that he was so, so happy when she was able to support herself. He tells Justin that they took her up for an MRI just four days ago and that the brain function is slightly improved. He tells him that she has been off the medical induced coma for three weeks now, but that she still hasn't moved or woken up.

"Wow, that must seem pretty hopeless for you, that really fucking sucks," Justin says as Kurt finishes his story.

"Is that what you tell all the parents?"

Justin starts to apologize again, but Kurt stops him.

"Don't," he says, "please don't apologize. It's nice to hear someone be so honest. The doctors keep telling us they have 'good hope', and my dad keeps saying 'it'll be alright kiddo'. It's nice to hear someone say the truth."

Justin offers Kurt a comforting smile.

"Does it?" he asks, "does it seem hopeless to you?"

Kurt shrugs.

"I have to be the strong one. Blaine lost a brother Liza's age and he's pretty sure she's going to die, so I have to believe she'll live. Someone has to."

"You don't have to do anything, Kurt."

"She'll live," Kurt says.

Someone in a nurses uniform pops their head around the door.

"Justin, are you coming or what?"

"Right, yeah, I'll be right there," he says with a little wave and turns back to Kurt, "listen, I've got to go now, but I have lunch break at one. How about we meet then and talk some more?"

Kurt considers it, but quickly shakes his head.

"I can't," he says, "I promised my son I'd be home for lunch."

.

* * *

><p>Right before lunch Kurt discovers he's left his phone at home and hopes Blaine won't skin him for it, but as he enters the apartment he's actually surprised with a completely set table, Jimmy patiently waiting on Liza's kiddie chair and Mason in the box behind the couch, Blaine just walking from the kitchen to the table with a plate of fresh bread.<p>

"You forgot your phone, so I figured you were at the hospital," Blaine says with a smile that would seem sincere to anyone but Kurt.

As Kurt sits down, Blaine's smile becomes more genuine.

"Anyone else there?" Blaine asks and Kurt considers telling Blaine about Justin, but he knows Blaine isn't talking about that, he knows Blaine is asking if anyone he knows who decided to visit Liza rather than Mason, so he just shakes his head.

"Guess they're all at work," he answers, "they'll be there this afternoon, want to come along?"

Blaine agrees, they'll bring Jimmy and Mason, too, so they'll be in the hospital once Santana calls.

They eat their lunch mostly in silence, just answering any questions Jimmy has and asking each other to pass the milk or whatever it is they need.

It turns out they don't have to wait for Santana to call at the hospital, she calls just before they are headed out anyway.

So instead of visiting Liza first, they go and see Santana, Ellen and Jimmy's new sister (Emma). Kurt feels a little guilty about letting Liza wait, but he's also pretty confident that Justin might be in Liza's room to wait for him and he doesn't want Blaine and Justin to see each other. He doesn't know why precisely, but something tells him it's not a good idea.

Not now, not now he and Blaine are on the rocks and Blaine knows about the crush Justin used to have on him, so he's sort of relieved to get to see Emma first.

Which of course, is amazing. Emma is a perfect bundle of a tiny baby who's perfectly asleep on her mom's chest. Santana is soft and sweet like they know Santana used to be when Jimmy was just born.

They sit at Santana's bed, don't ask her to hold Emma because they know they'll just get a 'bitch how dare you ask' glare, instead praise Santana for doing such a good job and telling both her and Ellen what a beautiful little girl they have.

Kurt is there, but not entirely. Sure, he appreciates spending time with Santana and Ellen, but seeing Emma like this while Blaine is holding Mason, something is off for him. It's probably just the fact that he and Blaine are tense around each other and don't talk about the fact that there were a few weeks where they only paid attention to one of their children, or maybe about the fact that they haven't slept in the same bed since they last had sex together (and that just sounds really off for a couple who's been together for over ten years), but there's something else tugging at his heart.

Something that's completely off and has him excusing himself and running down the hallway to Liza's ward. It's not that he doesn't want to be around Blaine, it's just that at this moment he _can't. _He knows he's mostly the one at fault, he's the one who has been distancing himself, sleeping on the couch and maybe what he's about to do is horrible and _wrong _and so incredibly stupid, but he does it anyway. He runs down the hallway towards the desk across from Liza's room and asks to speak to Justin, the nurse who was here earlier.

The girl behind the desk is nice and oblivious to the turmoil going on inside of Kurt's head, she pages Justin and he's at Kurt's side in mere minutes.

"I'm sorry," Kurt says, "I'm sorry that I blew you off today, how would you feel about lunch tomorrow?"

.

* * *

><p>"What was that about?" Ellen asks after she's sort of gotten over the shock of Kurt running out just like that.<p>

Blaine shrugs as he tries to put Mason's pacifier back in his mouth.

"Are he and Mason alright?" Santana asks, "or was seeing Emma too much of a trigger?"

Blaine shrugs again, because really, he doesn't know.

"Wait, what?"

Santana looks caught and on the verge of crying, which is of course ridiculous but, you know, hormones and all that shit.

"No, Santana, it's nothing I'll explain."

So Blaine tells Ellen everything, about how after the accident he stopped seeing Liza and Kurt stopped looking after Mason. He doesn't say 'stopped caring' because he knows that isn't true. He tells them about how after they had a huge ass screaming at each other fight (_you guys never fight) _they had had sort of make up sex and how things seemed to be better the next day, how Blaine had stepped over that emotional threshold that kept him from seeing Liza, how Kurt had rushed to his side and took Mason over from him, how they started taking care of both their kids again.

"But..?" Ellen and Santana ask in unison.

"But ever since we haven't really _talked. _He doesn't sleep in bed anymore, instead he sleeps on the couch and we just, we care for them. It's like we don't care for each other anymore."

And now Santana is full on crying.

"Come on Santana," he eyes her strictly, but his face softens as she kisses the top of Emma's head, lips wet with tears.

"No," Santana cries and Blaine knows she doesn't _really _want to him to see her like this, but he also knows she sort of has to and can't stop herself. He remembers how she cried full on for three days after Mason was born.

"No, Blaine, you sound like you've given up and you can't do that."

Blaine's not sure what she meant, he hasn't given up, he told that himself a hundred times. But maybe the fact that he has to tell himself a hundred times should've given him some warning. Because if you have to tell yourself, it means the other thing has crossed your mind as well. At least a hundred times.

"You're Kurt and Blaine," Santana cries, "You're Kurt and Blaine and you don't break up. You can't break up. You're Kurt and Blaine."

Ellen rushes to Santana to kiss the top of her head and comfort her, but now the words started flowing and Santana takes in Blaine's confused look she continues.

"You're Kurt and Blaine, you know. Blaine and Kurt, Kurt and Blaine. _KurtandBlaine."_

"I'm sorry, but you're not making any sense."

"Klaine." She full on sobs and Blaine freezes. He hasn't heard that term in ages. He's pretty sure they stopped using nicknames for couples after Rachel and Finn (Finchel, he corrects himself), so that has to have been at least 9 years ago.

"You're Klaine, you know, the only couple that still has a nickname."

"Santana," he starts but once she's going she won't let anyone interrupt her (and Blaine knows not to interrupt a new mum).

"No, Blaine, you don't understand. Me and Ellen, we don't have a nickname. Rachel and every one of her conquests don't get nicknames. No one gets nicknames anymore because that was a silly _High School _thing, you know. You're a silly high school couple and well, you're the ones that made it."

He's starting to see where she's going, but it is making him a tiny bit uncomfortable.

"When I was eighteen and I graduated, I thought that was it, you know. Love at first sight. Tina and Mike, Rachel and Finn, Me and Britt," Ellen fidgets slightly in her chair, "you and Kurt."

Blaine smiles, because even if everything is horrible and what Santana is trying to say is really sweet, but not helping, reminiscing the old days will always bring a smile to his face. Back when they were young, naïve and so in love.

"then Tina and Mike broke up and I thought that would never happen, but the rest of us were still together, you know, so I went with it. Then Rachel and Finn got divorced and I still think they're absolute morons for getting married at that age but they were Rachel and Finn and I thought they'd make it in the long haul and they didn't. Then it was just the two of you and Britt and I and I was so freaking proud. I imagined going back to a reunion with the four of us and showing that stupid school that, you see, gays and bisexual people aren't all sluts, in fact they're the only ones who made it but we didn't. Britt and I, we were stupid once with that stupid threesome and I got pregnant and I had to realize that I didn't want to raise kids with her, no matter how much I loved her and we didn't make it. You and Kurt are the only ones who made it this far, Blaine, with two gorgeous kids and a beautiful house and money to spare. You have to go to that reunion in September and show the world that you can make it."

That's the first time in his life Blaine makes a promise he doesn't know he can keep (apart from his marriage vows, but those sort of go together with this promise).

"We will," he says and promises himself to at least try his hardest, before he gets up and envelops her in a careful hug with two babies between them, "I'll leave you two alone," he says immediately after, noticing the way Ellen is staring so lovingly at her girlfriend.

He doesn't know where he's going, yet, because it's definitely not home or Liza's room, because both could mean running into Kurt and he's not ready for that.

.

* * *

><p>When Blaine and Mason get home two hours later than Kurt did, Blaine says nothing and settles at the table.<p>

"He's asleep, I thought I'd just let him," Blaine explains as Kurt eyes the stroller, so Kurt nods.

They sit and eat in silence, Kurt doesn't ask how Santana was the rest of the day, or how she even held out with company for so long (Kurt's pretty sure Blaine just spend time in the park to avoid getting home), and Blaine doesn't ask why Kurt ran out of the room without even saying goodbye to Santana and the rest.

They eat in silence, Kurt feeds Mason his bottle when he starts to cry and they spend some time on the couch watching something on the TV. Neither of them even register if it's something they actually like, because it's mostly staring ahead and avoiding talking to each other.

It's completely awkward and they both hate it, but neither seems to be able to start up a conversation. Blaine tries a few comments at whatever tv-show they are watching but they are completely off and it might even be a comment about how this girl shouldn't have auditioned if she can't sing while project runway is on. They don't know, because they're not watching it.

They're not watching each other, either, they are doing their very best at not watching each other. Blaine knows he has to do something, though, try the way he promised Santana he would. Or told Santana he would.

He told her they would make it and he's not sure they will.

"Santana called us Klaine today," he says and this seems to get a smile from Kurt. Probably the same thing happening to him that happened to Blaine, just reminiscing the old days brings up a smile.

"She said she's so proud of us that we're the only couple who made it after high school." Kurt's smile falls.

"Can you please sleep in the bed tonight?" Blaine asks and Kurt still doesn't respond, not in words anyway, but the way he tenses sends the message anyway.

"I love you," Blaine whispers and Kurt tenses even more, "I love you so much, Kurt, please just hold me tonight."

It seems like Kurt doesn't need much more convincing and even if his muscles don't actually relax, he scoots closer and pulls Blaine against him.

"I love you, too," he whispers in a broken tone that only Blaine recognizes as utter heartbreak and just the fact that it sounds painful gives him hope. Kurt must still _care._

They make it up to the bed, but just barely before Blaine caves and kisses Kurt in a try to drown away the tension. Kurt kisses him back, only pulls him closer actually and starts taking off his shirt.

Opposed to the last time they had sex, these kisses are all gentle and caring and trading words of I love you, I care for you, please stay with me and somehow Blaine thinks they might work things out.

They take things slow and have what Kurt would call _proper _sex for the first time since before Mason was born.

Kurt holds Blaine close after he pulls out, kisses hair and they cry together. Something feels different and Blaine's not sure if it's for the better or not, but the fact that something has changed must be good. Because if things stayed the same they would've been doomed.

And the fact that they just had sweet, loving sex (we made love, he can hear Kurt say), gives him that tiny spark of hope that things will turn out to be okay.

As far as okay goes when your three year old is lying in a coma.

.

* * *

><p>"DOCTOR!" Ellen yells down the hallway from Liza's room. Santana needed some time alone with Emma, so she took Jimmy to see Liza and even after he fell asleep on the bed next to her she made no effort of moving him, secretly melting by how it seemed the were just both <em>asleep <em>when they lay next to each other like this.

That was until Liza cracked open an eye.

"Hi baby girl," she said before she understood what this meant.

That's why she's standing in the hallway right now screaming for a doctor, even if it's probably better to stay at Liza's bedside while she's in there all confused.

.


	10. Wow

_I find careful patterns in the snow__  
><em>_It seems you did come round but changed your mind__  
><em>_If you'd just take ten more steps to me__  
><em>_I won't ever ask you again_

_**-Snow Patrol – Wow –**_

_**.**_

* * *

><p>Blaine's pretty sure he's never dressed faster in his life. Sure, he'd have loved to lay in Kurt's safe arms for just that much longer, but the phone call from the hospital had interrupted their post sex haze in the best way possible.<p>

_She's woken up. We don't know what the damage is, yet, but she opened her eyes and seems to be responding._

She's woken up is all Blaine heard, all he told Kurt and now as they are in a cab (who would have the patience to walk or cycle in this moment?) towards the hospital he feels slightly guilty.

"I'm not sure what it means," Blaine says, "they said she opened her eyes and seems to be responding, but I don't think they know to what extent just yet."

"It's fine," Kurt answers, seeming a little distant, though firmly holding onto Blaine's arm that isn't holding Mason close to his chest.

"You're really going to meet your sister now," Blaine tells the little boy, "properly meeting her."

Maybe, just maybe, Blaine tells himself, things will completely be okay again. Maybe Kurt will love him fully, maybe Mason will have two loving parents that are together and an even bigger maybe is that he might have a big sister who will boss him around, tease him to no end, but protect him whenever someone else does.

He lets himself hope, just for the ten minutes it takes the cab to reach the hospital.

He lets himself hope until he sees Ellen sitting outside Liza's door, completely pale and sort of disorientated, a sleeping Jimmy pressed close to her.

All hope escapes him as his eyes meet hers and he can tell.

_This is not good. This is not good at all._

He doesn't ask, he doesn't dare ask and obviously neither does Kurt.

So they sit, a sleeping Jimmy on Ellen's lap, a sleeping Mason pressed close to Blaine's chest. At some point Blaine realizes they didn't even bring a diaper bag, they have nothing to change if Mason needed a change right now, but that worry quickly slides away from him as he sees doctors rushing into Liza's room and realizes he's in a hospital.

_They have diapers of all sizes if we need one._

More importantly, though, he wants to know what those people are doing in his daughter's room. Sure, he only started visiting her a few days ago and maybe Kurt has a better right to be worrying, to ask them or to go insane, she's still his daughter and that never changed.

Kurt is still clinging to his arm like a lifeline, his nails digging into the flesh through his shirt and Blaine's pretty sure it's bleeding, but he lets Kurt, because those digging fingernails mean Kurt is there, right next to him, needing him.

There's no way to look outside, no windows anywhere near them and no clocks either. Blaine's left his phone at home and in his hurry to get to the hospital he didn't put on a watch. It's calming and frustrating at once, not knowing how long they sat there, not knowing how long it's taking the doctors to come outside, give them an update, telling them what the hell is actually going on with their little girl.

Their little girl, not his, not Kurt's, their little girl, both of their little girl, together, not apart.

It must be somewhere in the morning, Blaine has seen nurses update each other, night shift nurses have gone home and day shift people are taking over, when a doctor finally comes to them.

They haven't seen this doctor entering the room, but he does exit it and that means he's been in there since before they arrived, when night shift nurses were just starting. That doctor has been in their for over 8 hours and they've been sitting here waiting for just as long.

"Mr. Hummel?"

Both Blaine and Kurt stand up.

"Hi, Mr. Hummel and?"

"We both are Mr. Hummel," Kurt says curtly and Blaine nods.

"Okay, who of you is her father?" he asks and both of them take a deep sigh. They know the doctor means well. They know he's probably not homophobic and just following protocol of only telling family members the status of a child, but it's sort of tiring to have to keep explaining, especially in this day and age.

And maybe it's a little because they don't know what's going on with them, if they still have a chance to make it through all this, if they still have a chance to remain together, maybe that's why it's painful to tell this doctor.

"We're together, we're married, we're both her father."

It's painful, because they're not sure if it's true anymore.

The doctor apologizes, introduces himself as a neuro-pediatrician and takes them into his office.

"Okay, Kurt and Blaine," he starts, "is it okay if I call you by your first name?"

They nod, this doctor has spent the entire night turning their daughter inside out, they might as well be personal with each other.

"Kurt, Blaine," he starts again, "over the night we've run a few dozen tests on Liza. First I want to apologize for not updating you sooner. I have considered doing so, but in the end I wanted to be able to give you as much information as possible, and that's why I waited for such a long time."

He stops a moment, gives them a chance to go against him, tell him he should've said something sooner, but they are too impatient, need too hard to know what the deal is with Liza.

"What seems to have happened is that Liza gained some form of brain function. She has not actually woken up, just part of her brain has regained the ability to work, to function again, but not all her brain."

"I don't understand," Kurt voices Blaine's thoughts.

"Well, sir, what we see in hospital series, in soaps and movies, that's not reality. When someone wakes up after a year of coma in those series, it's always from being in a deep coma to being fully awake. That doesn't happen in real life. It goes slower, from having no function at all to having full function is nearly impossible."

"So she's not awake?"

"No, I'm afraid not. What we have gathered is she has the ability to hear, to see, but not to process or respond."

"What?"

Blaine wants to laugh at Kurt's bluntness, but it's a really serious situation, so he refrains. It's just that he doesn't understand a word of what this doctor whose name he didn't catch is saying things he can't wrap his head around and it seems that Kurt has lost his complete ability to remain polite and professional in the situation.

"Liza has opened her eyes, she follows movement, she sees us and her pupils react to things as light. She hears, we know that much because she moves her head to wherever there is sound, but she doesn't seem to understand what's going on. She stares, she doesn't see. When we got to the room her friend Jimmy was there, talking to her, but she did not seem to recognize him or process any word he's said. We've done scans, tests and tried to boost her ability to respond with a few types of medicine, but so far nothing has worked. On the scans we can see that she gained a fair amount of brain activity in the past forty eight hours since her last check-up scan, so we are very hopeful she will remain complete consciousness quite soon. However, you have to understand that at this point in time we can´t say anything other than to please not get your hopes up. Yes, she´s regained a part of her consciousness, but she is not going to be able to recognize you or your voices."

Blaine rocks Mason back and forth in the chair as good as he can, feeling him wake up and being aware they didn't even bring a bottle to feed the little boy.

"So you're saying my daughter is trapped inside her own head?"

"At the moment, yes, I'm afraid that's what I'm saying."

"She must be terrified," Kurt mutters before he gets up, "can I see her now?"

"Yes, of course you can," says the doctor, walking up to the door to let them out.

"Can you maybe arrange a bottle for my son?" Blaine adds to Kurt's question, "we left the house in a hurry last night and didn't think of taking anything.

"Of course," the doctor answers, "I'll have a nurse guide you to the maternity ward where you can change and feed your son. After that I can arrange for him to be able to spend a day in our daycare center, if you wish to visit your daughter without him."

But Blaine shakes his head violently.

"Before the accident we promised she'd see her brother the next time she'd see us, I'm bringing him with me."

.

* * *

><p>When Blaine enters the room, Liza's eyes are open and trained on Kurt. Kurt is singing her favorite lullaby over and over again, it's sort of painful to watch.<p>

Liza blinks every now and then, but apart from that there is nothing on her face. No emotion, only emptiness.

It's sort of freaky, to see her chest move up and down, to see her eyes move from Kurt's eyes to his moving mouth and back, but to see nothing she might _f__eel._

Blaine has seen one dead body in his life, one, from the guy who was shot down the street of their first (dodgy) apartment.

He remembers walking down the street to get home, to see the legs coming out from behind something, he doesn't even clearly remember what it was. He remembers walking around it, in all intention of seeing the person needed help. He could see from the perfect jeans and shiny shoes that this wasn't a homeless person, so he really did intent to help. He remembers thinking that was a lot of blood surrounding this person's body and then he remembers looking up into those eyes and they were dead. Just dead, there was no life left in those eyes and Blaine was pretty sure that was the scariest thing he had ever seen.

Up until now, because the lifelessness in Liza's eyes is even freakier. Her eyes look exactly like that dead person, as empty and as lifeless, but her body is moving. Her chest in rising and falling and when Mason gives out a rather loud squeak her eyes turn in her head towards where Blaine stands.

It's so scary he almost drops Mason to the ground, but doesn't.

He does see Kurt's teary eyes, he hears Kurt's voice stop the song the second Liza's eyes or off him and he knows he should probably go on and comfort Kurt, or at least let him know they share the pain but he doesn't know how.

What seemed to be so perfect and okay last night is gone. They're in a whole new misery, the misery of seeing their child in misery, trapped inside her own head, unable to process what she sees or feels at all. Blaine wonders if she's in pain and then realizes it's actually the worst thing to wonder at this moment. If she's in pain she's unable to express it, to scream in agony or tell anyone.

Her empty eyes are fixed on Blaine, now, and Blaine knows it probably hurts Kurt that she looked away from him, that she isn't turning back to him. Kurt makes a sniffling noise, but it's at the same time that Blaine steps forward and closer to the bed, so Liza's head jerks towards Kurt, but her eyes stay fixed on Blaine.

It's two apart movements and hope springs into Blaine's chest, growing like a balloon that's about to pop. She is hearing Kurt and seeing him and she's able to separate the two, that must be worth something.

"Hi baby girl," Blaine whispers and her head turns back towards him again, "daddy's here sweetie."

Kurt sobs outright now, and this time her eyes follow the movement of her head, fixing fully on Kurt again.

Immediately, Kurt starts singing.

_Hush little darling, don't say a word  
>Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird<br>If that mockingbird won't sing  
>Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring<em>

Papa.

Daddy.

It's them, papa and daddy. Not Kurt and Blaine. Blaine would walk over, put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeeze it. He would whisper all would be okay, if he didn't feel like this. He doesn't know exactly what _this _is, but he doesn't feel like he can get close to Kurt right now.

Whatever is going on with Liza, it's bigger than _this, _it's bigger than them and there's Mason to think of. Blaine can't think of Kurt right now, not when he has two children who need him. He wishes he could, he really does, but he can't and Kurt knows it. He knows Kurt feels it, too.

It's not distance, per se, but it's something that leaves no room for each other and suddenly Blaine understands why Kurt slept on the couch the past few nights. Kurt felt it before, the fact that in this moment their children are the bigger part, the more important part. The only part.

"I'll move in with Cooper," Blaine says, Liza's eyes focus on him again and this time, so do Kurt's.

"For now," he clarifies, "I know you don't have room in your hear to deal with us right now and neither do I. I'll live with Cooper and we'll figure out a schedule. You can eat with us and then take Mason home, bring him back in the morning. We'll see each other here, and there, I don't know. We'll figure it out, but I'll give you space to deal with the things you need to deal with on your own, and I'll take the space I need to deal with this."

Kurt looks like he's about to protest, but Blaine won't let him.

"No I mean it, I'll send Finn your way, he can stay with you and I'll stay with Cooper, it will be fine."

He backs out of the room without chancing a second glance, afraid he's going to change his mind.

Afraid Kurt's going to try and change his mind, and he can't have that right now.

He needs space, just as much as Kurt does.

Maybe even more.


	11. Mahogany

I could help myself to something  
>Like a little bit of revelation<br>You could be the one to help me help myself

Maybe if I could see exactly what  
>Was in your way I'd move it for you<br>Don't always need to do it by yourself

**-Snow Patrol – Mahogany -**

* * *

><p>"I'll go live with Cooper."<p>

Some things really are easier said than done. Blaine had called Cooper and of course he was allowed to stay in the guest room, chasing Finn away to live with Kurt for the time being.

Packing his bag had been painful, leaving Mason behind with Kurt was the scariest thing he'd ever done.

"Please take good care of him," he'd asked, so scared that Kurt would retreat into himself again, would start not taking care of Mason. But on the other hand it was a blessing, maybe leaving the little boy with Kurt would somehow _force _Kurt to love him the way he loves Liza.

Blaine knows Kurt did, that first day and night, before all of this happened. He knows Kurt is trying really hard to love him again, but he is not convinced he really does. How can he, after Kurt ignored Mason for weeks on end.

But mostly it's hard because Blaine hasn't slept through a single night since he moved out. If moving out is really what he did, they never said it was permanent.

He's been tossing and turning every night since he packed his bags and took his place in Coopers guest room, he's sweating more than usual and for the few times a night he does drift off, he has horrible nightmares. Sometimes they are about Liza dying, sometimes they are about him and Kurt fighting. Mostly they are about both.

Right now, though, he is wide awake in the massive bed. Kurt is not beside him and it makes him uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable knowing he's not just a few feet away. Yes, they had spent the last two days sleeping apart, but at least they'd been in the same house.

Blaine can handle it, though, he tells himself to hold on for that much longer. It's only a matter of time before Kurt will realize they belong to each other, together. There's no way Kurt is able to sleep right now. It's like Blaine can feel it, as he lies awake in the unfamiliar bed, he feels a tug on his heart that tells him _get to Kurt. He needs you, get to him._

He doesn't, no matter how painful the feeling in his chests, he doesn't even try to get up and get out of bed. For once, he doesn't listen to his heart. He listens to his mind and he doesn't really like it.

Still, he lies in the bed waiting for his alarm to go off and when it does he jumps out and get dressed in an instant. He finds Cooper in the kitchen with breakfast ready, sipping coffee and trying to look innocent.

"Morning," he says and hands Blaine a cup of much needed coffee, "did you get any sleep last night?"

Blaine shakes his head, he knows Cooper is up to something because he knows him like the back of his hand, but that's the same reason he Cooper will know when he lies.

"Thought so, you haven't been screaming last night."

"I scream?"

"When you sleep, yes, you have nightmares whenever you get some sleep."

Blaine nods now, if he screams there's no denying he the nightmares. He's pretty sure Cooper remembers how he used to scream right after the Sadie Hawkins dance, even if he moved he moved to LA three weeks later.

"This isn't working anymore, squirt, you look like shit and you keep me awake at night. You need to talk to Kurt."

"It's only been a few days."

"You need to talk to him."

"Why, though?" Blaine asks Cooper and even if it is a rhetorical question, an answer would be nice. Why should he be the one to start talking, why would it always be his responsibility to fix things?

"Because you both are stubborn. Do you want a repeat of when Kurt graduated? When you thought he cheated?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, then do something about it," Cooper says as he points at him and Blaine wants to laugh, old habits never die, but he doesn't. He's too tired to even try.

"Back then it wasn't pretty, it was hard to see you heartbroken but I didn't do anything because it was a high school love. I thought it would end anyway…,"

Blaine starts saying something, but Cooper won't let him.

"No," he says instead, "you let me finish."

He takes a large gulp of his coffee before he looks back up at Blaine again.

"Back then you were hurt and that hurt me, I didn't like seeing you like that but I knew hearts get broken so I did my best to comfort you and didn't try to get you guys back together. In the end you did that for yourselves. Do you remember how it went down? I do. You started retreating into yourself. You were afraid of losing him so you kept your distance, to make it hurt less. He thought you didn't like him anymore and that's why he sought comfort in someone else. You thought he cheated, you blamed him for that and he blamed you for distancing yourself."

"What are you aiming at?" Blaine asks because frankly, he doesn't have the time or energy to dive back into the past.

"I'm saying, you guys are doing the same thing now only at a bigger scale and with much more to risk. You have children, for Christ's sake."

"What?"

"You offering to live here? You are distancing yourself again. It's only a matter of time before he'll find someone else and this time it won't go down with just a few texts, Blaine, it will be worse."

"Cooper," Blaine whispers and he knows Cooper hears the tears and heartbreak in his voice, "I can't. Not yet. I have to deal with Liza now."'

"I know you do," Cooper answers, "and you are always welcome here, Blaine, always. Just realize that even if you are welcome, it's not where you belong."

"Do you really think it's only a matter of time?"

"Yeah, yeah I really do. You have to hurry with getting yourself back together or you'll lose him forever."

.

* * *

><p>"God, yes I remember," Kurt laughs as he takes a sip of his wine.<p>

"Of course you do," Justin replies, "you were the hero of the evening, improv has always been one of your strongest suits."

Kurt smiles again, it's so easy to take compliments from Justin like this, when they're sitting on the couch in the living room and Mason is asleep in his crib in his room.

He almost stops thinking about what Blaine might be up to, he only thinks about Liza once a minute and he doesn't even really wonder if Blaine is sitting at her bedside.

"I'm surprised you haven't starred in anything since then," Justin says, "you were by far the best actor I've ever played opposite of."

Kurt laughs again, though this time in a mocking manner.

"Please," he says, "you flatter me."

Justin flashes him a dashing smile, "It's true," he says and he takes another sip of his wine.

"Now, tell me, why didn't you star in anything since Bare?"

Kurt shrugs, he doesn't really want to talk about the why. He doesn't want to talk about Blaine and Liza, or Mason. He wants to keep talking about the past and how he and Justin played lovers on stage, how Justin had always had a crush on Kurt, he likes to talk about that. He likes to be complimented and if Blaine isn't around to do it, he will take it from Justin.

Of course he doesn't tell himself that's the reason, he doesn't admit to himself Justin is only here because Blaine isn't.

And what he tells himself is actually true, too. He likes Justin. He likes the dashing smile that doesn't look like Blaine's, he likes the dirty blonde hair that sticks out each and every way. He likes how reserved and well-mannered he is. Yes, Kurt likes Justin and he likes this evening where they are drinking wine on the couch and are slowly getting tipsy.

"Kurt?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Justin shrugs.

"Fair enough. Let's talk about Bare some more."

"Oh god, yes," Kurt replies as he refills both their glasses with the red liquid he craves so much.

"Do you remember that week Rachel had laryngitis?" Kurt asks, "she still talks about it now, how impressive it was for her to still go on."

Justin laughs.

"She had no choice," he says, "it was a small production, it's not like there was an understudy."

"No, no there was. Remember Ellen? She was in the ensemble?"

"Santana's girlfriend?"

"Yeah, that's the one. She could go on as Ivy in a heartbeat and Rachel wouldn't let her. Afraid she'd lose her job."

"She still as paranoid as that today?"

Kurt smiles.

"Always."

Justin scoots closer to Kurt on the couch and the ring on his finger suddenly feels more present than it did before, but somehow the butterflies in his stomach are outweighing the ring on his finger.

"Are you okay, Kurt?" Justin asks, "I mean, you look gorgeous as ever, but you also look very tense and tired."

"I'm fine," Kurt answers, "just all this stress with Liza is getting to me."

Justin is so close now, Kurt can feel the heat radiating off his body and it's so new and different to Blaine that somehow it's intoxicating. Suddenly, he wants to share everything with this guy who is so close and so concerned.

"I don't know what to do when I'm with her," he says, "I visit her each day but suddenly it's easier to take care of Mason than to take care of her. Every time it looks like she is looking at me, or she turns towards me when I say something, I get my hopes up. That's about a hundred times a day. I get my hopes up so much every day and then coming home and realizing it was all for nothing. Realizing she's still locked up inside herself and not able to communicate with us."

Justin nods, and he is so close that now their noses are touching.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," he says, "I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You are so amazing, you deserve none of this."

"Then why does it?" Kurt asks and even if it is rhetorical, an answer would be nice.

"Let me help you take your mind off of things," Justin offers and even if that wasn't really a question, Kurt still answers.

"Please," he whispers and with that Justin's lips are on his. They are soft, softer than Blaine's and smaller. He moves them delicately at not at all in the way Kurt likes. For a few seconds Kurt tries to take control, kisses a bit more frantically and needy, but he misses something. Justin's face is soft and there's none of the scruff that Blaine always has by the end of the day.

And then he knows what he is missing.

"I have to go," he says as he breaks apart from Justin. "You have to go, I have to go."

.

* * *

><p>Blaine is lying in his bed, looking up at nothing much as the door to the guestroom slams open and Kurt storms in.<p>

"I love you," is the first thing he says.

"How did you get in?"

Kurt looks confused, but Blaine is overwhelmed with Kurt storming in like this and he doesn't know what else to say.

"Did Cooper call you? Did he put you up to this? What is going on? Where is Mason? Why are you here?"

Kurt laughs and it gets on Blaine's nerves, he is serious here, and panicked, he really wants to know the answer to all of these questions."

But Kurt keeps laughing and it's not like when he laughs at people, it's the laugh when he is happy or amused, it's the laugh when he knows something good is about to happen.

"It's fine, Blaine," he says, grin still present on his gorgeous face and damn, why does Blaine have to notice how gorgeous that face is, why now?

"I got in with our spare key, Cooper didn't call me or put me up to this, I came to tell you I love you. Mason is at home with Finn, probably fast asleep and as I said I am here to tell you I love you and to ask you to come home."

"Kurt?"

"I met someone else."

"You ask me to come home because you met someone else?"

And Kurt shakes his head, violently almost, the grin ever remaining on his feature.

"I met someone else and he kissed me and I realized that I never want anyone but you to kiss me."

"You kissed someone else?" Blaine really can't believe what he is hearing, and he really doubts why Kurt thinks this is good.

"Blaine, I love you," Kurt says, "I love you and we've been fools lately. We have a daughter in need, we have a son who needs both his parents and we are is wrapped up in our own problems. I don't want that. I don't want to fight for them opposite you. I want to fight next to you."

"Kurt, you kissed someone else."

Kurt sighs, but the fire in his eyes is still there as he steps closer to the bed Blaine is now sitting up straight in.

"Blaine, do you remember when I met Chandler?"

"Cooper started talking about that this morning, too."

"Yes, because we were stupid then and we are stupid now. I love you, Blaine, and we promised for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Let's stick to that."

Blaine doesn't want to give up this easily, but Kurt came to him this time, and it's a start.

"You still kissed someone else."

"I did, and I am really sorry for that. Did I tell you it was horrible?"

"You did now."

"Blaine, I only ever want to kiss you. I only ever want to be kissed by you."

"This doesn't solve all our problems, Kurt."

"I know. I know it doesn't, but can you please come home so we can work on them together?"

Kurt sits down on the bed and takes Blaine's head between his hands. The fact that Blaine doesn't even protest says a lot.

"Please?"

He rests their foreheads together and Blaine immediately sucks in a very deep breath, shuddering beneath Kurt's hands.

"I'm so in love with you," he whispers and Kurt clashes their mouths together in a much needed, but very sweet, gentle and loving kiss. It's almost like their first kiss, unsure of what the other likes and wants, but so desperate to give it all.

Unlike their first kiss, though, they know each other now and they know how to read each other. How to feel what the other wants and so it's only a matter of minutes before Blaine's head is thrown back against the headboard as Kurt kisses down his neck, collarbone and chest.

Eventually Blaine flips them over and does the same to Kurt, makes him moan and beg. Without any lube or condoms present, they use their hands and mouths, they grind and whisper sweet words in each other's ears.

"I love you, Blaine."

"I want you – fuck, Kurt, fuck."

He comes hard down Kurt's throat, and it takes him a few minutes before he's recovered enough to start kissing down Kurt's neck, intent to return the favor.

"No," Kurt whispers and pulls him up again, "please, this one was for you."

Blaine wants to protest, wants to say he insists. However, when he looks into Kurt's eyes he can't deny Kurt anything, not even his strange need to take care of Blaine tonight.

"Okay," he whispers much like the way he whispered it on McKinley's stage all those years ago, and he settles himself in Kurt's arms.

It doesn't take long for them to drift off to sleep.

.

* * *

><p>"BLAINE WAKE UP LITTLE BROTH..- Holy fuck Kurt, since when do you work out?"<p>

Blaine and Kurt both sit upright, as the covers are pulled from them by Cooper.

"And how did you get in?"

"Spare key," Kurt mumbles, "What are you doing here all chipper and happy?"

"Right," Coopers says as he shakes his head to get the image of the two naked men out of his head, "hospital called Blaine's cell. Said they couldn't get a hold of you and that they had good news."

.

* * *

><p><em>AN: One more chap to go, people. Thank you so much for all your patience! You know where to find me on tumblr!_


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